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510 - An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room

Aired Thursday, January 6, 2022
An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room

After Sheldon complains about the long gaps in his college schedule, President Hagemeyer gives him his own dorm room to stay in between classes. Meanwhile, June (Reba McEntire) wins big on one of Meemaw's machines.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "An Expensive Glitch" refers to June's big win on Meemaw's machine, and "a Goof-Off Room" refers to Sheldon lending out his dorm room to his fellow students.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in his normal clothes as a black cow with horns approaches the family.
  • Features a montage of flashbacks of Sheldon correcting his high school teachers Ms. Ingram [110], Mr. Givens [209], and Coach Wilkins [110].
  • In a Season 1 episode of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon received a lesson in signs, or "semiotics", from Penny after finding a neck tie on Leonard's door handle. [105]

Quotes

Quote from Sheldon

Sam: This is so unfair. You get so much more than every other student.
Sheldon: Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they deserve.
Sam: Sheldon, that arrogant attitude is why no one sits with you in class or lunch or ever.
Sheldon: Well, I like to think that they're maintaining a respectful distance out of deference to my intellect.
Sam: No. That's not what they're doing. They're avoiding you because you're an entitled brat who thinks that you're better than everybody else.
Sheldon: So, I should just pretend I'm less intelligent than I am?
Sam: You should realize that there are more important things in life than how smart you are.
Sheldon: Well, I'm also cute as a button, but it seems shallow to say it. [an exasperated Sam walks away] You could say it.

Quote from George Sr.

Missy: Can we watch 90210?
George Sr.: What's that?
Missy: It's about kids who go to school in Beverly Hills.
George Sr.: [groans] If you want to see a show about Beverly Hills, we should watch Beverly Hillbillies. [chuckles] That's a show.
Missy: What's it about?
George Sr.: Eh... Imagine your meemaw moving to California.
Missy: I'd watch that.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Over the next several days, my social experiment was providing clear-cut data about the benefits of being well-liked.
Matt: Hey, Sheldon. Heard you like these.
Sheldon: Thank you. It's the best watery chocolate milk on the market.
Matt: Thank you for letting me use your room.
Adult Sheldon: I suppose it was like the old saying, "I scratch your back, you scratch mine," which I actually have issues with. Why is your back itchy? A rash? Chicken pox? Scabies? Scratch your own back.

Quote from Sheldon

President Hagemeyer: Here we are.
Sheldon: [chuckles] What is this?
President Hagemeyer: A dorm room, and it's all yours. You can study, take naps, do whatever you want.
Sheldon: No one's living here?
President Hagemeyer: Well, we had an Indian exchange student, but he developed a taste for barbecue, so his parents made him go home.
Sheldon: Well, thank you for this.
President Hagemeyer: You're welcome.
Sheldon: It's like I always say, never underestimate the power of complaining.
Adult Sheldon: I've been testing that theory for decades, still works like gangbusters.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: You see, humans have evolved as social animals, so your feeling hurt might be a deep evolutionary desire to cooperate with others to ensure your survival.
Sheldon: So, you're saying it makes sociobiological sense to want other people to like me?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, and you may even get benefits from it. It's like on that show you enjoy, Star Track.
Sheldon: Trek.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right. Captain Kirk can't do it all by himself. He needs Doctor Spock.
Sheldon: Mister.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right. And Mister McCoy.
Sheldon: Doctor.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right.
Sheldon: Well, technically, they were his subordinate officers, but Kirk did always deal with them in a friendly manner, so I take your point.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good man.
Sheldon: I suppose I could treat it like an experiment. Run an analysis of the benefits of having people like me.
Dr. John Sturgis: That sounds like an idea the Captain, the Doctor, or the Mister would be proud of.
Sheldon: Excellent.
Dr. John Sturgis: You know, you'd think a smart fella like Spock would have a doctorate.
Sheldon: Actually, Spock rejected an offer from the Vulcan Science Academy in order to attend Starfleet.
Dr. John Sturgis: Huh. Not the choice I would have made, but I'm happy for him.

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Episode Trivia

  • What fruit did June get three of on the machine before her big win?
    • Bananas
    • Limes
    • Lemons
    • Oranges
  • What food did Georgie order at the diner when Meemaw took him to lunch?
    • Burger
    • Pizza
    • Tacos
    • Chicken fingers

Episode Recap

Adult Sheldon explains how from grade school to high school, every moment of your day is accounted for. From the morning bell to dismissal, you knew where you were supposed to be, what you were going to be learning, and which poor excuse for a teacher you would have to correct. A montage of flashbacks shows a younger Sheldon quarreling with Ms. Ingram, Mr. Givens, and Coach Wilkins. Unfortunately, none of that prepared him for the gap-filled, Swiss cheese anarchy of a college schedule.

When President Hagemeyer walks into her office, she is surprised to find Sheldon seated in front of her desk. As Hagemeyer tries to back out without being seen, Sheldon tells her he can smell her perfume. After Hagemeyer asks what today’s problem is, Sheldon explains there’s a four hour gap in his schedule. When Hagemeyer questions how that is a problem, Sheldon regurgitates the definition of a problem from the Oxford English Dictionary. Sheldon bats away Hagemeyer’s suggestions that he hang out in the cafeteria, go to the library, or take a nap. After Hagemeyer tells Sheldon she has work to do, Sheldon figures a nap might be relaxing after all. After Sheldon wonders what kind of lumbar support the couch in her office has, Hagemeyer tells Sheldon to come with her. President Hagemeyer shows Sheldon to an empty door room, and says it’s his. He can study, take naps, do whatever he wants. After Sheldon thanks Hagemeyer, he says it’s like he always says: never underestimate the power of complaining. Adult Sheldon says he’s been testing that theory for decades, and it still works like gangbusters.

At the laundromat’s secret gambling room, Meemaw asks Georgie how it’s going. Not bad, he says, but he thinks they could get more people in there if she let him advertise. Meemaw wonders how you advertise a place that ain’t exactly legal. Georgie says people love secrets, so they could get flyers that say, “Come to our secret gambling room, but, shh, don't tell anybody." Meemaw tells Georgie what she thinks of his ideas: "Shh, don't tell anybody." When Dale’s ex-wife June walks into the backroom for the first time, she says it’s fun sneaking through the back alley and suggests they get a secret knock. After June asks Meemaw how this works, she says “You play, you lose, you go home smelling like cigarettes.” June thinks that sounds like her love life.

As the family eats dinner that night, Mary tells Sheldon he should get an alarm clock if he’s going to take naps in his new dorm room. George tells Sheldon to remember, no parties. As Sheldon stares blankly at his dad, George explains it was a joke. Missy is shocked her brother has his own room here and at the college. Missy wonders why Sheldon’s life is always better than hers. After Sheldon suggests that’s a question his sister should get used to asking, Mary tells Sheldon not to be rude. George points out Missy has her own room at home, and says she should appreciate what she has. He never had his own room growing up, then he was in shared barracks, and then he moved in with their mother. “Dang”, Missy exclaims. After George says tell me about it, Mary wonders what happened to appreciating what you have.

Back at the gambling room, Georgie suggests they hand out punch cards like they do at the sandwich shop. You know, every ten times you come here, you get a free play. After Meemaw questions what’s to stop people punching it themselves, Georgie says he’s going to get himself a free sandwich. Georgie and Meemaw’s discussion is interrupted when June cheers as a machine pays out. When Meemaw and Georgie walk over to her, they are shocked to see the total on the screen is $11,000. Meemaw says that can’t be right, and wonders how this happened. June explains she got three bananas and the machine asked if she wanted to “parlay” that, so she hit the button and then went “Whoo-hoo” because she won $11,000. Meemaw nervously chuckles and tells Georgie to go get the manual as this must be a glitch. June picks up on Meemaw’s nervousness and tells her they don’t have to pay her. As Meemaw insists she does have to pay June, Georgie returns with a manual for a washing machine.

When Sheldon finds his former study partner Sam sitting near the entrance to the dorm building, he asks what she’s doing there. Sam explains there was a sock on the door of her dorm room. After Sheldon determines she didn’t want to touch the sock and says he understands completely, Sam realizes he really doesn't. Sheldon mentions he has a room in the dorm, so Sam could study with him if she wants. After Sam says that would be great, Sheldon wonders why there was a sock on her door. Sam says it was a signal. A signal for what, Sheldon questions. A signal that she should change the subject, Sam says, before asking how Sheldon’s classes are going.

As they walk down the hallway in the dorm building, Sam says she didn’t realize Sheldon lived on campus. Sheldon admits he doesn’t, it’s just a place to crash between classes. After Sheldon and Sam walk into the dorm, she’s surprised he has a single room of his own when he doesn’t even sleep there. Sheldon points out he takes naps there, but describes the mattress as “lumpy lumpy”. When Sam complains she shares a room this size with two other girls, Sheldon suggests she complain to President Hagemeyer, who was very accommodating to him. After Sam wonders if there are two closets, Sheldon explains one is a private bathroom. Sam points out she has to share a bathroom with, like, thirty other people. Sheldon says that sounds yucky. It is very yucky, Sam confirms. Sheldon offers Sam the ability to use his toilet, as long as she squats over the seat and doesn’t sit.

Back in Sheldon’s dorm room, Sam says it’s so unfair how Sheldon gets much more than the other students. Sheldon argues fairness isn’t everyone getting the same thing, it’s people getting what they deserve. Sam tells Sheldon that arrogant attitude is why no one sits with him in class or lunch. Sheldon likes to think they’re maintaining a respectful distance out of deference to his intellect, but Sam forcefully tells Sheldon that’s not what they’re doing. They’re avoiding him because he’s an entitled brat who thinks that he’s better than everybody else. After Sheldon asks if he should just pretend he’s less intelligent than he is, Sam argues he should realize there’s more important things in life than how smart you are. Sheldon points out he’s also cute as a button, although it feels shallow to say it. As an exasperated Sam walks out of the room, Sheldon tells her she could say it, though.

As Meemaw and June eat lunch at a diner, Meemaw says she and Georgie figured out the problem. June knows the problem: she cleared them out. Meemaw explains that when the machines are unplugged, they reset to the highest payout. June thinks that sounds like her problem. After Meemaw tells her she doesn’t have $11,000, June says she understands. So, what she’s going to do about it, June wonders? Well, obviously, lunch is on her, Meemaw says. After June responds sarcastically to the offer of a free lunch, Meemaw wonders what June wants her to do. June tells Meemaw to make her a partner in the gaming room. Meemaw puts her foot down and says no. She already brought Georgie in, she has to pay off the police, she can’t have another hand in the till. June tells Meemaw that sounds like her problem again.

At the university, Sheldon tells Dr. Sturgis what Sam said to him, adding that he doesn’t know why it bothers him. Although John says it’s normal to care about what others in your peer group think, Sheldon claims it’s illogical. John says humans have evolved as social animals, so Sheldon’s feeling hurt might be a deep evolutionary desire to cooperate with others to ensure his survival. Sheldon asks if John’s saying it makes sociobiological sense to want other people to like him. John says yes, and claims Sheldon might even get benefits from it. John tries to explain it in terms Sheldon will understand, namely Star Trek, but John doesn’t really know the show or its characters. Sheldon proposes he could treat this like an experiment, and run an analysis of having people like him.

When Meemaw returns to the laundromat after lunch with June, Georgie asks how it went. Meemaw says not good, explaining that June wants to be a partner. When Georgie wonders if his grandmother can just pay June out, Meemaw points out all her money is tied up in this place. Georgie argues not all of it, as some of it’s his. Georgie asks if June’s a partner forever or just until she gets her money back. Meemaw doesn’t know. After Georgie points out it seems like an important question to ask, Meemaw snaps and says she didn’t ask it. When Georgie says all this yelling can’t be good for her blood pressure, Meemaw says he’s right and decides to go outside for a cigarette. When Georgie points out cigarettes aren’t any better, Meemaw says, “Good. Perhaps the end is near.”

Back at the university, Sheldon stops Sam in the hallway to ask how she is today. “Since when do you care?”, Sam asks Sheldon. “12:07 yesterday”, he answers. Sheldon tells Sam that in light of the fact that they're both human beings and have a genetic interest in each other's prosperity, she may use his dorm room to study. A delighted Sam says that would be amazing. Sheldon asks whether this makes her feel more positive, less positive, or neutral about him. After Sam says she guesses “more positive”, Sheldon is pleased. Adult Sheldon admits Dr. Sturgis may have been onto something. It did feel nice to be liked. Not as nice as knowing he’s the smartest boy in Texas, but what was?

Hot off Sheldon’s conversation with Sam, another student, Bobby, stops Sheldon to ask if he heard correctly that Sheldon has a dorm to spare. Sheldon confirms he does, saying he’s letting Sam use it to study. Bobby wonders if there’s a chance he and his girlfriend could use it sometime. They study together? Bobby says they’d like to, it’s been a while. Sheldon tells Bobby he uses the room during the day, but they could have it at nighttime. Nights work for them, Bobby says. After Sheldon asks Bobby how he feels about him, Bobby says “really, really positive”. Sheldon says great, instructs Bobby to tell a friend.

As Georgie finishes hanging lights in the gambling room, he asks June how it looks. Great, she says. When Meemaw comes in, she wonders what the hell all this is. Georgie explains June brought in twinkle lights. June says she thought it might make things more festive, but Meemaw claims it looks like Christmas in jail. As June laughs and says she has a story about that, Meemaw cuts her off to order them to take it down. When one of the regulars, Wade, praises the lights, Meemaw snaps and tells him nobody asked him. After June says they may need to have a chat about customer service, Meemaw would rather talk about why June is redecorating without even asking her. June points out she’s a partner. Silent partner, insists Meemaw. Georgie defends June, saying a good idea is a good idea, no matter where it comes from. June thanks him and says she likes Georgie’s idea about putting a dartboard in the corner. Feeling ganged up on, Meemaw wonders if this is going to be. Fine, Meemaw says, when Wade takes a dart to the head, she doesn’t want them to come crying to her.

Back at the university, another student stops Sheldon to give him a can of Yoo-hoo, Sheldon’s favorite watery chocolate milk, and thank him for the use of his dorm room. Adult Sheldon says it’s like the old saying, "I scratch your back, you scratch mine," which he actually has issues with. Why is their back itchy? A rash? Chicken pox? Scabies? They should scratch their own back.

As Sheldon and Sam walk down the corridor, Sheldon is telling her it’s actually easy to get people to like you, you just have to give them things. Sam feigns amazement, suggesting he’s really discovered something there. As they reach Sheldon’s dorm, an unkempt Bobby and his girlfriend Diane are emerging from the dorm room. “All all-nighter?”, Sheldon wonders. “Oh, yeah. All night.”, says Bobby as he thanks Sheldon. Sheldon thinks Bobby’s going to ace those midterms after all his studying. After Sheldon tells Sam his room has become quite the little study hall, she tries to tell him they might not be… before thinking better of it.

When Georgie joins Meemaw at a diner for lunch, Meemaw says this is nice, a little grandmother/grandson bonding time. After Georgie asks what’s going on, Meemaw wonders why she can’t buy her favorite grandson lunch. As Georgie looks at his grandmother suspiciously, Meemaw admits they need to talk about the June situation. Georgie insists she’s just trying to make the place better. Meemaw says it’s their thing, and they can’t have June taking over. Georgie doesn’t think June is trying to take over, saying June likes to hear his ideas. After Meemaw scoffs and suggests June’s just doing that to get her way, Georgie tells Meemaw her problem is she doesn't like any idea she didn’t think up herself. Is that so? Meemaw says bringing Georgie was her idea, and that’s not turned out well. Georgie tells his grandmother if that’s how she feels, they don’t have anything else to talk about. After an awkward silence, Meemaw tells Georgie he can go now. Georgie points out his chicken fingers aren’t there yet.

Back home, Missy asks her father if they can watch 90210, a show about a bunch of kids who go to school in Beverly Hills. George says if she wants to see a show about Beverly Hills, they should watch The Beverly Hillbillies, telling Missy to imagine if her meemaw moved to California. Missy agrees she would watch that. When the phone rings, Missy is surprised it’s for Sheldon. After Sheldon comes on the line, he tells Travis he can’t fit him in on Monday, but he can pencil him in on Wednesday. After Sheldon gets off the phone, he tells his mother he’s been letting students use his dorm to study while he’s not there, and it's made him very popular. As Sheldon gets another phone call from a girl who wants to use the dorm with her boyfriend, George starts to get the picture. After Mary tells her husband that Sheldon’s getting popular, George says he thinks he knows why students want to use the room. They ain’t studying. While Missy quickly fills in the blanks, Mary is initially doubtful. “A bunch of college kids in an empty dorm room?”, George says. After Mary sighs and wonders if they should tell Sheldon, George doesn’t want to be the one to tell him. An eager Missy says she’ll tell her brother. Although Mary quickly shoots down that option, George points out Missy did volunteer.

When June visits the gambling room and finds Georgie hanging a disco ball, she jokes that all they need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms and it’s Studio 54. Georgie doesn’t know what any of that means. When June says she figures his meemaw came over to their side, Georgie admits she didn’t. Georgie says Meemaweemaw pissed him off, so now she gets a disco ball. June says she doesn’t want to get in the middle of a family squabble, but Georgie assures her his grandmother will know it was him. After June says she loves it then, Georgie asks what a Bee Gee is. June explains it's a brother singing band, who did all the music for Saturday Night Fever. After Georgie asks what Saturday Night Fever is, June says she’s old.

As Sheldon works at his computer in his bedroom, Mary and George go to talk to him. Sheldon explains he’s making a spreadsheet of the dorm room schedule so people will stop bothering him. About that, Mary starts to say before deferring to her husband. George tells Sheldon that they are concerned people may be taking advantage of him. The students might not be using the room in the spirit he intended. How are they using it? After George passes it back to Mary, she explains they’re worried couples are not going there to study. Sheldon asks if they’re using it as a “goof-off room”. Yes, George stammers, that’s exactly what they’re saying. Sheldon wants to drive over there now and catch them in the act, but Mary quickly says no. George suggests they should let them finish “goofing off” tonight and put a stop to it tomorrow. Sheldon thanks his parents for letting him know. As George and Mary leave, Sheldon tuts about those “dirty goof-offs”.

The next day, as George and Missy watch TV, he explains The Beverly Hillbillies to her, mentioning how the Clampets moved to California. Missy points out that in 90210 the Walshes moved to California. Did they have a hard time fitting in with those California snobs? Yeah, says Missy. After George points out the Clampets do, too, Missy says it’s practically the same show. After Meemaw enters in a huff and asks where Georgie is, George says he’s out in the garage. “Disco ball, my ass”, Meemaw complains. After George wonders what’s going on, Meemaw says “It's a gambling room, not a damn dance club, that's what's going on.” as she yells for Georgie. Missy gets up and says she wants to watch that show.

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