Georgie: Herschel offered me a part-time job.
Mary: Really? Between that and football practice, when would you do your homework?
Missy: When does he do it?

Adult Sheldon: Since the 1970s, home video games have been coveted by children around the world. I was not one of those children.

Herschel Sparks: Well, the kid was right. It's just the thermostat.
George: Yeah, yeah. So how long to fix it?
Herschel Sparks: Nothing, 20 minutes.
Georgie: Can I help?
Herschel Sparks: Well, sure. Grab yourself a pair of coveralls and have at it.
Georgie: Thanks.
George: Really? I'm paying you so my own son can fix my truck?
Herschel Sparks: Well, we could have my son do it, but we know how that's gonna end.

Mary: Fine, but I want you here for dinner every night, and if your grades slip, you are done.
Georgie: Thank you.
Mary: Now go wash up. And don't get grease all over my towels.

Missy: How about a Houston Oilers cheerleader? "Signs point to yes." I'm gonna marry a quarterback.

Meemaw: Mazes, puzzles, panic attacks, you're in charge. Whooping monster butt, that's my purview.

Mary: Hello?
Meemaw: What?
Mary: It's past his bedtime. Let's go.
Meemaw: Oh, come on, five more minutes?
Mary: No. Now say good night to your grandson. You'll play with him again tomorrow.
Meemaw: Goodnight, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Goodnight, Meemaw.

Mary: How old are you?
Meemaw: [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Mary: And I got my answer.

George: You really want to quit football to go work in a garage?
Georgie: Hell yeah.
George: I thought you loved the game.
Georgie: I do, but look at me. I weigh 125 pounds.
George: That's not important.
Georgie: It's not? Every time I get tackled, somebody's got to run over with smelling salts just to wake me back up.
George: Well, this isn't your decision. You're gonna play football.
Georgie: You can't make me.
George: Oh yeah? Wait and see.
Georgie: Screw this.

Sheldon: That fibber. [calling Meemaw] You're playing the game right now.
Meemaw: I am not.
Sheldon: I saw you with my binoculars.
Meemaw: Oh. How about that.
Sheldon: You promised not to play without me. We're a team. Emelda Showmen, remember?
Meemaw: I'm turning off the game and going to sleep right now.
Sheldon: You'd better. I love you, good night.

Announcer: Will Sheldon Cooper please come to the main office?
[STUDENTS OOHING]
Sheldon: "Ooh," what?

Georgie: Too bad he didn't know Herschel. He can fix anything. Guy's a genius.
George: You mean a car genius.
Missy: Is Dad getting his feelings hurt? "Yes." The ball don't lie.

Missy: When I grow up, will I be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? "Not likely." Darn it.

Meemaw: Okay, we need to set a few ground rules.
Sheldon: Rules, love 'em.