Georgie: You're not thinking about taking his advice, are you?
George: Never you mind.
Georgie: But he's wrong. Everybody knows you punt on fourth down.
Sheldon: Why does everybody knowing something make it right?
Georgie: Because. That's what makes this country great.

George: Sheldon, I've been playing and coaching football all my life. I don't think your math is right.
Sheldon: Really? Hang on. [thinks for a second] No, it's right.

Meemaw: I think your anger might be a little misdirected.
Mary: Don't you start with me either.
Meemaw: Now, see, you're still shootin' wide.

Tam: How's puberty treating you? Because it is knocking me for a loop.

Meemaw: So Oilers are a four-point favorite for this Sunday's game, but it's a home game, so I'm thinking I give the points. What do you think?
Sheldon: I think I have to tell on you again.
Meemaw: Go ahead. What's your mama gonna do, ground me?
Sheldon: Take the Oilers, give the points.
Meemaw: I love you, Moonpie.

Vincent: How you doin' there, Connie?
Meemaw: Hey, Vincent. What brings you to Louisiana? Wait, don't tell me. You're here to see Tony Orlando.
Vincent: 'Fraid not.
Meemaw: Oh, well, you ought to check him out. He'll, uh, knock your socks off.
Vincent: I like my socks on.

George: Remind me to tell you about the tax refund I got from the IRS.

Meemaw: Can I ask you a favor?
Sheldon: Sure. What?
Meemaw: You know those statistics that you were talking about with your dad? Could could that be applied to, say, who might win the Cowboys-Packers game next week? And, more specifically, by how much?
Sheldon: I suppose with enough data I could make a reasonable guess.
Meemaw: I don't want a guess, I want to know.

George: It's solar-powered. Can you imagine that?

Tam: Hello.
Sheldon: Tam? What are you doing here?
Tam: Would you like to go to a party with me?
Sheldon: I don't want to go to a party with anyone.

Adult Sheldon: Somehow, my parents didn't find out about me partying heartily. But I did pay a price for burning the candle at both ends. I made a mistake on a math test. In my exhaustion, I did all the calculations in my head, and, like a common zoo animal, forgot to show my work.

Adult Sheldon: Extricating myself from this situation was not going to be easy. My father was counting on me, Meemaw was counting on me, the school was counting on me. After much thought, I decided to employ the one strategic maneuver I knew I could count on. I tattled.

George: You think Sheldon's right?
Mary: About what?
George: The punting and the math.
Mary: I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We never been audited.
George: That's true.
Mary: He even got us that nice refund last year.

Meemaw: Is it your dentist? The little guy with the glasses? You can tell me.

Adult Sheldon: Many years later, my brother would use this same argument in front of a judge. He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth.