Dr. Eberland: Okay. Well, keep him off spicy foods for the time being, and I'll write you a prescription for Zantac. Does he smoke?
Mary: 'Course not. He's nine.
Dr. Eberland: [chuckles] I started at his age. Uh, but only when I drank.

Mary: Sheldon! What are you doing?
Sheldon: I just need a minute. These things are so slow. [to Dr. Eberland] Is this your family? They're lovely.

Missy: Mom.
Mary: What?
Missy: There's something wrong with Sheldon again.
Sheldon: I figured it out! I figured it out!
George: One night. I want to sleep one night.

Missy: Oh, God, it's on my shoes, it's on my shoes!
Meemaw: For Pete's sake, somebody open a window.

George: Yeah, I don't mean to be rude, but we've been waitin' for an hour to see your boss.
Mrs. Veazey: I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't have an appointment.
George: We didn't have an appointment 'cause every time I called, you put me on hold.

Dr. Hodges: Anything else?
Sheldon: Yes. I'd like a glass of water. It's time to take my Zantac.

George: Oh, he's been in there quite a while.
Mary: Well, if the topic is science, he can be a real Chatty Patty.

Dr. Hodges: I'll tell you what. Here is a NASA patch. Why don't you have your mom sew that on your book bag?