Adult Sheldon: Since the 1970s, home video games have been coveted by children around the world. I was not one of those children.

Herschel Sparks: Well, the kid was right. It's just the thermostat.
George Sr.: Yeah, yeah. So how long to fix it?
Herschel Sparks: Nothing, 20 minutes.
George Jr.: Can I help?
Herschel Sparks: Well, sure. Grab yourself a pair of coveralls and have at it.
George Jr.: Thanks.
George Sr.: Really? I'm paying you so my own son can fix my truck?
Herschel Sparks: Well, we could have my son do it, but we know how that's gonna end.

Missy: When I grow up, will I be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? "Not likely." Darn it.

Mary: Fine, but I want you here for dinner every night, and if your grades slip, you are done.
George Jr.: Thank you.
Mary: Now go wash up. And don't get grease all over my towels.

Meemaw: Mazes, puzzles, panic attacks, you're in charge. Whooping monster butt, that's my purview.

Mary: Hello?
Meemaw: What?
Mary: It's past his bedtime. Let's go.
Meemaw: Oh, come on, five more minutes?
Mary: No. Now say good night to your grandson. You'll play with him again tomorrow.
Meemaw: Goodnight, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Goodnight, Meemaw.

Mary: How old are you?
Meemaw: [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Mary: And I got my answer.

George Sr.: You really want to quit football to go work in a garage?
George Jr.: Hell yeah.
George Sr.: I thought you loved the game.
George Jr.: I do, but look at me. I weigh 125 pounds.
George Sr.: That's not important.
George Jr.: It's not? Every time I get tackled, somebody's got to run over with smelling salts just to wake me back up.
George Sr.: Well, this isn't your decision. You're gonna play football.
George Jr.: You can't make me.
George Sr.: Oh yeah? Wait and see.
George Jr.: Screw this.

Sheldon: That fibber. [calling Meemaw] You're playing the game right now.
Meemaw: I am not.
Sheldon: I saw you with my binoculars.
Meemaw: Oh. How about that.
Sheldon: You promised not to play without me. We're a team. Emelda Showmen, remember?
Meemaw: I'm turning off the game and going to sleep right now.
Sheldon: You'd better. I love you, good night.

Announcer: Will Sheldon Cooper please come to the main office?
[STUDENTS OOHING]
Sheldon: "Ooh," what?

Meemaw: Okay, let's try a different approach. Can I take you to get some ice cream?
Sheldon: I'm having an emotional crisis, Meemaw. You can't fix that with ice cream.
Meemaw: Right. Sorry. You want to go to RadioShack?
Sheldon: Yes, I want to go to RadioShack!

Missy: When we get to the Hello Kitty store today, remember I was the good child.

Missy: Fine, Paige and I can share my bed.
Mary: You okay with that, Shelly?
Sheldon: I trust you two will stay quiet throughout the evening and go to sleep at the appropriate time?
Missy: Absolutely.
Sheldon: All right, then. I'm okay with it, Mom.
Meemaw: How is he ever gonna get through this world?

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm usually the one giving the tests, but, uh, today I'm taking one.
DMV Employee: No talking.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I usually say that to my students.

Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Meemaw: [QUIETLY] How's it going?
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't tell you. There's no talking.
DMV Employee: No talking.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sorry.

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry. I know I'm letting you down.
Meemaw: Oh, don't be silly. You're not letting me down. [CHUCKLES] I love you whether you can drive or not.
Dr. John Sturgis: You love me?
Meemaw: Well, I- I suppose I do.
Dr. John Sturgis: [LAUGHS] Am I allowed to reciprocate?
Meemaw: Sure, if that's the way you feel.
Dr. John Sturgis: [LAUGHS] Oh, it is. I love you, too, Connie.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLING] Well... That's just great.
Dr. John Sturgis: All righty.
Meemaw: Would you like to switch seats with me?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, but give me a minute because my legs are a little wobbly.
Meemaw: Is that from the yellow light or the "I love yous"?
Dr. John Sturgis: Both.

George Sr.: You understand any of that?
Mary: I don't know, I guess he's just being a little boy.
George Sr.: Since when?

Dr. John Sturgis: In lighter news, your meemaw loves me.

Sheldon: Try thinking of it this way: imagine a pie. The number on the bottom of the fraction is how many pieces the pie has been sliced into.
Missy: What kind of pie is it?
Sheldon: Doesn't matter.
Missy: But it would help me picture it if I knew the kind of pie.
Sheldon: Fine, it's banana cream.
Missy: I don't like banana cream.
Sheldon: Okay, what kind of pie would you like it to be?
Missy: What about those little apple pies from McDonalds?
Sheldon: Sure.
Missy: I burned my mouth on one of those. Didn't stop me. I still ate it.

Sheldon: While we're here, would you like me to introduce you to algebra?
Missy: Al who?
Sheldon: Oh, boy. It's not a person, it's an ancient Arabic method of finding the value of variables.
Missy: Oh. Nah.