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418 - The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics

Aired Thursday, May 13, 2021
The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics

Tempers flare in the Cooper household after Missy's first heartbreak.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics" refers to Adult Sheldon's description of the physics of pool balls.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in his normal clothes as a cow approaches the family.
  • When Sheldon and Missy reach an old shack in the woods, Sheldon asks his sister if she's even seen Scooby-Doo. Iain Armitage voiced a young Shaggy in the 2020 film Scoob!.

Quotes

Sheldon: Where are we going?
Missy: Right there.
Sheldon: An old shack in the middle of the woods? Have you even seen Scooby Doo?
Missy: Great, go home.
Sheldon: At night, by myself? Nice try.

Sheldon: You like boys, and you're half an inch taller than me now.
Missy: It's called growing up.
Sheldon: Well, I don't like it.
Missy: Trust me, 20 years from now you're not gonna be sitting around, talking about Star Trek and reading comic books.
Sheldon: Would you like to bet on that?
Missy: A dollar.
Sheldon: Hmm. [they pinky swear]
Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] She still hasn't paid me. And guess who's wearing Star Trek underpants right now.

Mary: You are right. You have been here longer than me. I don't see why we can't work together.
Peg: That'd be nice.
Mary: Great. So, why don't you go by the bank, and I will drop off the bulletin?
Peg: So no one's gonna answer the phones?
Mary: Fine. You just sit there, and I'll go and do everything.
Peg: Sweet. Oh, today's a stumper. Is "nipto" a word?
Mary: You know what? This is why I was taking charge of everything. Because if I don't, nothing will get done.
Peg: Oh, it's "pinto". [laughs]
Mary: This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Peg: Guess what, Mary. Things were getting done long before you got here.
Mary: I just want everything taken care of for Pastor Jeff.
Peg: Or you just like thinking you're better than everybody.

Pastor Jeff: Isn't he the cutest?
Mary: He sure is.
Peg: Oh.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah, he's an angel. He's just happy all the time... morning, afternoon, middle of the night, 2:00a.m., 3:00a.m., all the a.m.'s, really.
Peg: Dip the pacifier in some whiskey, put him right out. But don't use the good stuff. They can't tell the difference.

Mary: Hey, I'm gonna need you to drop the bulletin off at the printers. And while you're out, could you also swing by the bank and make a deposit?
Peg: Sure, and there's one thing you could do for me.
Mary: What's that?
Peg: Quit riding my hump.
Mary: Excuse me?
Peg: You're not the boss around here.
Mary: [exhales] No, but Pastor Jeff's away, and I'm the church secretary.
Peg: Okay. Take a memo. "You're not in charge. Peg".

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Featured Music

  • Nothing Compares 2 U
    Sinead O'Connor

    Nothing Compares 2 U Missy repeatedly blasts the song after returning home heartbroken over Marcus.

Episode Trivia

  • Missy wanted to take down a poster of which musician?
    • Madonna
    • Whitney Houston
    • Cyndi Lauper
    • Pat Benatar
  • Which animated TV series did Sheldon reference in the woods?
    • The Flintstones
    • Scooby-Doo
    • The Smurfs
    • The Jetsons

Episode Recap

Adult Sheldon explains that although classic physics can predict a lot about the world, such as what happens when one pool ball knocks into another, when multiple balls careen you’ve entered the world of nonlinear dynamics where it’s impossible to predict what will happen next. Now, imagine these are people. Even a “brilliant young ball” who graduated high school at 11 can be caught in the maelstrom. Adult Sheldon says the first collision was set in motion when Pastor Jeff and Robin had their baby.

At the church, Pastor Jeff shows off pictures of his baby son to Mary and Peg. Jeff’s voice breaks as he admits he never thought he could love someone so much. When Mary asks if he’s okay, Jeff admits he’s not been getting much sleep lately. After Mary tells him to go home, Jeff is reluctant at first but does admit feeling guilty about leaving his son at home. Mary and Peg say they’ll handle everything there. Mary even offers to do the sermon on Sunday, but Pastor Jeff thinks he’ll be fine by then. Mary tells him he doesn’t need to decide right away, but Jeff insists he’ll do it. After Mary says they’ll play it by ear, Peg tells her to take the hint.

Over at the Cooper house, Sheldon is working on his homework in the kitchen, as Meemaw talks on the phone to Mary and says she can stay there until George gets home. When Missy arrives home, Meemaw tells her she just got off the phone with Mary and will be looking after them tonight. Without breaking her stride, Missy says she doesn't care and heads straight to her room. Later, Missy is loudly playing “Nothing Compares 2 U” in her room as Meemaw knocks on the door to check if everything’s all right. Missy says she doesn’t want to talk.

Back at the church, Mary stops by Peg’s desk to ask her to do a couple of things: drop off the bulletin at the printers and swing by the bank to make a deposit. Peg tells Mary there’s one thing she could do for her: quit riding her hump. After Peg tells Mary she’s not the boss around here, Mary points out Pastor Jeff is out and she is the church secretary. Peg tells her to take a memo: “You’re not in charge. Peg.”

Back home, Meemaw is singing along to Missy’s music as she crochets on the couch. When George arrives home and wonders what’s going on, Meemaw explains Missy is in her room hating the world. After George asks what’s wrong with Missy, Meemaw figures it’s probably a boy. George says he’ll go talk to her, but Meemaw doesn’t recommend that. George argues he and Missy have a father-daughter thing going, but Meemaw points out that was with “cute, little Missy” and not “angry, pre-teen Missy”. George insists he’s got this.

After George knocks on Missy’s door and doesn’t get a response, he goes into the room and finds Missy laying on her bed. After George stops her music and sits down next to her, Missy points out she was listening to that. George thought she might want to talk. A sarcastic Missy scoffs at the idea her door was shut and the music is loud because she wanted to talk. George says if this is about a boy, he knows it might feel like the end of the world right now but there’ll be other boyfriends. Missy says she doesn’t want other boyfriends, she wants Marcus. George says she might feel that way now, but she’s only 11. So her feelings don’t matter, Missy wonders. After George offers to take her out for ice cream, Missy says she’s not a child. George says he was just trying to help, but Missy tells him to leave her alone. As Missy groans and sticks her head under a pillow, George stands up and turns her music back on.

Back at the church, Mary goes to see Peg again to apologize. She recognizes Peg has been there a long time and there’s no reason they can’t work together. Mary proposes that she goes to the printers and Peg can go to the bank. When Peg points out nobody would be answering the phones, Mary says she’ll just do all the work instead because otherwise nothing will get done. After Peg returns to her crossword, Mary says this is what she was talking about. Peg points out things were getting done long before Mary arrived at the church. Mary says she just wants everything taken care of for Pastor Jeff, but Peg claims Mary just likes feeling she’s better than everybody.

When George returns to the den, Meemaw asks how the daddy/daughter thing worked out. After George says he’s not in the mood, Meemaw points out she told him not to go in there but he knew better. George tells Connie he doesn’t need her parenting advice, but she says it seems like she does. George snaps back, asking how many of her children still talk to her. Oh, right, just Mary.

When Sheldon walks up to his bedroom, he finds a sign saying “Do Not Enter” on the door. George goes to his father, who is reading the paper and drinking a beer, to say he has a problem. Sheldon explains Missy put up a sign on their door and while he would usually obey posted signage, he feels that it being his bedroom gives him right of entry. George tells Sheldon he doesn’t want to go in there. After Sheldon insists he does and questions whether Missy has the legal right to put up a sign, George explains Missy is having boy trouble so he should just give her space. Emotionally or legally, Sheldon wonders. Emotionally, George says, which Sheldon is happy to hear as ignoring people’s emotions is where he shines.

After Sheldon enters his bedroom, Missy asks if he didn’t see the sign. Sheldon says he did, but it’s not legally binding. When Sheldon asks what Missy is doing boxing up her toys, Missy says she’s getting rid of them. After Missy removes tape from her Cyndi Lauper poster, Sheldon wonders why she’s taking it down. Missy says it’s time to grow up. Sheldon wants her to leave it there as it’s part of his morning routine, but Missy says that’s too bad, it’s her room. After Sheldon points out it’s his room as well, Missy says she doesn’t complain about his “stupid” posters. Sheldon argues his posters are of the smartest men who ever lived, so if anyone’s stupid it’s her. After Missy tells him to shut up, Sheldon accuses her of being very irritable and suggests that is why she has boy troubles.

Back in the den, George overhears Sheldon and Missy fighting in their room. When George goes to see what’s going on, Missy is holding the torn pieces of Sheldon’s signed photo of Professor Proton. George reminds Sheldon he warned him not to come in here, and tells him to leave right now. After Sheldon walks away with his ripped photo, George asks Missy if she wants to explain herself. Missy starts sobbing and returns to her bed.

When George finds Sheldon in the kitchen, he tells him they’ll get another picture of Professor Proton. After Sheldon says he doesn’t want another picture, he wants that one, George repeats that he warned Sheldon not to bother his sister. After Sheldon angrily points out it’s his room, George tells him to watch his tone. When Mary arrives home, she asks what’s going on. Sheldon explains Missy ripped his Professor Proton picture and now his dad’s yelling at him. George insists Sheldon yelled first. After Mary says she’ll take care of this, George points out she doesn’t even know what happened. Mary repeats what Sheldon told her, and claims she can’t leave the house for five minutes without things falling apart. George insists he was handling it. Obviously, Mary scoffs as she leaves. George again insists Sheldon yelled first.

After Mary goes into Missy’s bedroom, she tells her daughter to apologize to Sheldon. A crying Missy says no. Mary insists she’s not going to ask again. After Missy asks her mother why she always takes Sheldon’s side, Mary insists she doesn’t. Missy argues everybody does, and she hates this family. After Mary grounds Missy and walks out in a huff, George sarcastically thanks her for handling it.

When Meemaw answers her door to Sheldon, she asks if everything is okay. No, Sheldon says, everything is terrible. Meemaw thinks that sounds like a job for cookies. In the kitchen, Meemaw serves Sheldon a plate of store-bought cookies and a glass of milk as she asks what’s wrong. After Sheldon wonders if she’s not going to bake the cookies herself, Meemaw asks if he wants her to bake or to listen. Sheldon shrugs his shoulders.

Meemaw is mixing cookie dough as she tells Sheldon she’s sorry Missy ruined his picture, but points out his sister is having a bad day. Sheldon scoffs and claims Missy can find another boyfriend, before adding that he hates her. After Meemaw tells him never to say that about family, Sheldon points out she says mean things about his dad. Meemaw argues that’s different as George deserves it. Meemaw tells Sheldon he needs to find a way to forgive his sister. He’s the big brother, so it’s his job to look out for her. Even if he is only two minutes older.

Back at the Coopers’ house, Mary and George are arguing in their bedroom. Mary says she doesn’t appreciate coming home after a long day of work to have to take care of things here. George insists she didn’t need to take care of it as he was handling it. Mary points out Sheldon was upset, but George says this isn’t about Sheldon, it’s about Mary thinking she’s always right. As they argue, Missy packs a bag and then climbs out the window of her room.

As Sheldon leaves Meemaw’s house, Missy is walking down the street and ducks behind a tree when she sees her brother. After Sheldon spots her and asks what she’s doing, Missy says she’s running away. After Sheldon says he will tell their mom, Missy says of course he is. Missy figures Mary will side with Sheldon and she’ll be in trouble again. Sheldon agrees not to tell on Missy but insists he’s coming with her. Missy points out he’s one of the people she’s running away from, but Sheldon says he can’t let her wander alone at night. He’s her big brother and it’s his job to protect her, even if he is just two minutes older.

When Georgie returns home, Mary is clipping coupons in the kitchen and George is reading the paper in the den. After Georgie says hello to his parents and picks up on the tension, he wonders who died. After George says no one died, Georgie is relieved and asks where dinner is. After Mary snaps and says anyone who wants dinner can make it for themselves, George tells her not to take it out on Georgie. As they start arguing again, Mary asks George if he really wants to start this up again. George expresses surprise that she’s wondering what he wants, but Mary claims his whole life is doing what he wants. George questions if he wanted to get stuck coaching high school football, if he wanted to live across the street from her mother, or if he wanted to spend his night getting yelled at by his daughter, son and wife. After Mary retorts that she didn’t realize he was so unhappy, George tells her that’s because she never asks. George grabs his car keys and storms out.

As Missy and Sheldon walk through the woods, Sheldon asks where they’re going. Missy points her flashlight towards a cabin and says right there. “An old shack in the middle of the woods? Have you even seen Scooby-Doo?”, Sheldon wonders. After they get settled in the shack, Sheldon asks Missy if she comes there a lot. Missy says sometimes when she wants to get away from people. “Get away from me?”, Sheldon asks. Not just him, Missy admits. After Sheldon asks if this is all about a boy, Missy insists she doesn’t want to talk about it. Sheldon says he doesn’t think she should change herself just for some boy, but Missy claims he doesn’t care about her feelings, he just doesn’t like change. Sheldon wonders how she can say that, pointing out he’s risking his life just being there given there’s tetanus as far as the eye can see.

Georgie goes to Mary’s bedroom with a bowl of soup, saying he figured she didn’t eat. Mary tells him that’s sweet but insists everything’s fine. Georgie says he’s not a kid any more so she doesn’t need to lie. Mary admits she’s upset with his father and upset with herself. Why? Because George is right, Mary concedes, maybe she does think she knows best and can be critical. After Mary thanks Georgie for making her soup, she asks if he put water in it? As Georgie wonders if he was supposed to, Mary insists it’s fine.

Back in the cabin, Missy tells Sheldon that she heard Marcus was holding hands with another girl, a seventh grader, at the roller rink. Missy admits that’s why she wanted to appear more mature. Sheldon says he would suggest wearing a bow tie to appear older, but that’s kind of his thing. After Missy apologizes for ripping his picture, Sheldon says thanks and admits it wasn’t just the changes to their room that were bothering him. Missy’s growing up - she likes boys now and is a half an inch taller than him - and he doesn’t like it. Missy tells him to trust her, twenty years from now he won’t be sitting around talking about Star Trek and comic books. After Sheldon asks if she wants to bet, they pinky swear and wage a dollar. “She still hasn't paid me. And guess who's wearing Star Trek underpants right now.”, Adult Sheldon adds.

Adult Sheldon says that’s the thing about pool balls and people, they’re both unpredictable. As George gets ready to play pool at a bar, Brenda Sparks comes up to him to say hi. When he asks what she’s doing out, Brenda tells George she just needed to get out of the house. George hears that. After Brenda asks if he wants some company, George says sure as he prepares to take the first shot.

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