Adult Sheldon: Two years later, Mr. Givens became the high school principal, which might be why Ms.
MacElroy became morbidly obese.

Mr. Givens: I had the brains, I had the charm, and I don't like to brag, but I was pretty easy on the eyes back then. That woman got herself one heck of a package. But some people don't want to be satisfied.

Mary: Georgie. Would you do me a little tiny favor?
Georgie: Like what?
Mary: Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind sitting with your brother?
Missy: Don't do it, Georgie.
Mary: You stay out of this.
Missy: I ate with him in second grade. It really hurt my social life.

Missy: Didn't you already read that book?
Sheldon: I'm reading it again.
Missy: How come?
Sheldon: I clearly missed something. I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend.
Missy: Did you look at the card inside?
Sheldon: Why? That's just other people who checked out the book.
Missy: It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend.
Sheldon: So?
Missy: So they're desperate, and you have their names.

Missy: Nice going. You're making Mom a nervous wreck.
Sheldon: What did I do?
Missy: You don't have any friends, and she is beside herself.
Sheldon: But I'm fine without friends.
Missy: I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. She said it's your fault. I'm going to watch ALF.

Adult Sheldon: Science fact: sisters are the worst.

Sheldon: Principle one. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Adult Sheldon: The three sharpest arrows in my quiver. Thus began the greatest challenge of my young life.

Mary: Baby, you don't have to go to any trouble for me.
Sheldon: But I like doing things for you. You're a nice lady.

Ms. Ingram: You're like, "I'm here because I care. And by the way, your phone could make calls, too." Then tries to turn this whole thing around like it's all about you being needy, and you're like, "Yes, I have needs! That's what makes me human!"

Mary: He made a friend! He did it! Our little boy has got a friend.
George: Who is it?
Mary: Who cares? It's a human being. It's a warm body.

Mary: What's up, sweetie?
Sheldon: I was wondering when I could continue my rocketry hobby.
George: Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this. You can build them. You just can't launch them.
Sheldon: But launching them is the fun part.
George: Tell that to the family of squirrels who died in the fire.

Sheldon: Okay. It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend.
Mary: Hang on. Uh, yes. It's fine. Ban is lifted.
George: Mary.
Mary: It's for his friend. He's got a friend. Besides, those could have been rats. Their bodies were so badly burned.

Mary: He's here! Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, just a normal dinner.

Mary: Thank you, God, for this food, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend.

Tam: When he was released, we escaped on a small boat and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates until we reached Thailand.
Mary: Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. Lovely beaches.
Tam: I wouldn't know.