Dr. John Sturgis: I just need to borrow your phone to call a cab.
Meemaw: Why?
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't drive.
Meemaw: Well, how did you get here?
Dr. John Sturgis: I rode my bicycle.
Meemaw: You rode your bicycle?
Dr. John Sturgis: I have a Schwinn Speedster. It's got three gears. I only use one.

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring derived from the anal glands of the North American beaver?
Meemaw: That seems like a fact you could have shared before we started eating.
Dr. John Sturgis: It isn't used very often. I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
Meemaw: Cool. Okay, new topic.

Dr. John Sturgis: See, this is why we're great together. You teach me about social etiquette, and I teach you about beaver anuses.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] It is magical.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know "ani" is also acceptable as the plural of "anus"?
Meemaw: And the magic continues.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my little vicuña.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Well, hello to you, too. And more importantly, what is a vicuña?
Dr. John Sturgis: Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Meemaw: Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.

Sheldon: I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis at East Texas Tech. He said I could audit his course.
Meemaw: You're pen pals with a stranger? Is this okay?
Sheldon: He's not a stranger. He's a famous scientist. He carbon-dated the oldest human feces.
Meemaw: That ain't strange.

Georgie: What kind of homework is it?
Missy: Grammar.
Georgie: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

Missy: There's a list of sentences, and you're supposed to say if each one's a complete sentence or not.
Georgie: The first one is, "Most people in the country". That doesn't sound like a sentence.
Missy: But ask me who drives pickup trucks.
Georgie: Who drives pickup trucks?
Missy: Most people in the country.
Georgie: Well, now it does sound like one.