Adult Sheldon: I had a plan to avoid using the porta-potty. I just had to get through the night until I could get back to my dorm in the morning. I lowered my overall liquid intake, skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea, and gave my bladder a stern talking to. My bladder did not listen.
Sheldon: [exhales] I can do this.
Adult Sheldon: My body may have been weak, but my mind was strong. I just needed to think about this situation in a different way. Instead of a porta-potty, it was a TARDIS. Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who, whose urine was ready to travel through space and time. For those who aren't familiar, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. This one, however, was smellier on the inside.
Sheldon: I can't do this.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not proud of this, but that night, I relieved myself inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop. Until my wife, those hens were the only females I ever exposed myself to. [chickens clucking] I guess I could have left that part out. Oh, well.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit. Obsessively fixating on them, now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

George: Studying for a test?
Sheldon: Studying to take the bar exam. Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it.
George: Seriously?
Sheldon: Common law was invented by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. I think I can hack it.

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] What?
Sheldon: Oh, my, you look terrible. [covers his nose and mouth with his inner elbow] Are you sick?
Meemaw: Of life, yes.
Sheldon: Oh, good. [lowers elbow] That's not contagious.
Meemaw: Get in here. The light's killing me.
Sheldon: You smell like alcohol. Yucky.

Mandy: Do they know about Georgie?
Meemaw: No, of course not.
Dale: Your grandma's not a snitch. Which, by the way, will serve you well if you end up in the slammer.
Meemaw: The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you?
Dale: I like cop shows. You learn things.