Dale Quote #161
Quote from Dale in the episode An Ankle Monitor and a Big Plastic Crap House
Mandy: Do they know about Georgie?
Meemaw: No, of course not.
Dale: Your grandma's not a snitch. Which, by the way, will serve you well if you end up in the slammer.
Meemaw: The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you?
Dale: I like cop shows. You learn things.
Dale Quotes
Quote from the episode Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench
Georgie: [o.s.] Did you like school?
Dale: Hated it. I quit and I joined the Army.
Georgie: [o.s.] How was that?
Dale: Less girls, more getting shot at.
Georgie: [enters] Well, at least you made it out alive.
Dale: Well, then I got married. Made me kind of miss getting shot at.
Georgie: Have you ever been happy?
Dale: Ooh, let's see. No.
Quote from the episode A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters
Dale: Little late to start a movie.
Meemaw: It's 8:00.
Dale: We're saying the same thing.
Quote from the episode Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency
Meemaw: I'll have the rib eye, medium rare.
Waiter: And for you?
Dale: Uh, just the house salad, please.
Waiter: Very good.
Meemaw: House salad? You watching your figure?
Dale: I have a physical tomorrow.
Meemaw: Oh, so your plan is to start eating healthy now?
Dale: Can't hurt.
Meemaw: It ain't gonna undo years of red meat and beer.
Dale: I'm not trying to undo it, I'm just trying to hide it under some lettuce.
‘An Ankle Monitor and a Big Plastic Crap House’ Quotes
Quote from Sheldon
George: Studying for a test?
Sheldon: Studying to take the bar exam. Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it.
George: Seriously?
Sheldon: Common law was invented by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. I think I can hack it.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] What?
Sheldon: Oh, my, you look terrible. [covers his nose and mouth with his inner elbow] Are you sick?
Meemaw: Of life, yes.
Sheldon: Oh, good. [lowers elbow] That's not contagious.
Meemaw: Get in here. The light's killing me.
Sheldon: You smell like alcohol. Yucky.
Quote from Sheldon
George: All right, what do you got?
Sheldon: Well, have you ever heard of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante?
George: He a boxer?
Sheldon: He was originally. Good for you. But he's better known as a major crime boss who managed to stay out of prison by employing the legal doctrine of "mens rea".
George: Which is?
Sheldon: He pretended to be nuts. He wandered the streets of New York in a bathrobe, he had poor personal hygiene, he mumbled to himself... all the cuckoo classics.
George: Yeah. If you need someone to testify that she's off her rocker, you give me a call.
Sheldon: Thank you.