Meemaw: Oh, my God. Dale, take the baby home.
Dale: Me? Why don't you call Mary?
Meemaw: The last thing I want is for her to know about this.
Officer Gilroy: I'll watch the baby if you like.
Dale: There you go, problem solved.
Meemaw: No. Take the baby.
Dale: [groans] Yeah. Well, is there anything I can bring you?
Meemaw: Yeah, a cake with a file in it.
Officer Gilroy: [laughs] Good one.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

Jim: Here we are. Grab a shovel and dig in. There you go.
Dr. Linkletter: I spent the summer in Italy once.
Georgie: Bringing back memories?
Dr. Linkletter: No.

George: [phone ringing] Sheldon, phone.
Sheldon: [to himself] 187 IQ and I'm a receptionist. [answers phone] Cooper residence. Hello, Mr.
Ballard. He's here. May I tell him what this is concerning? I may not? Very well. Dad, it's Mr. Ballard.
George: I'll pick it up in here.
Sheldon: [quietly] Which you could've done to begin with.

Sheldon: Are you sure there's a body down here?
Missy: Oh, yeah, keep digging.
Adult Sheldon: I'd like to tell you I found something that night, but for once you all might be ahead of me.