Dale Quote #145
Quote from Dale in the episode Baptists, Catholics and an Attempted Drowning
Mandy: I'm not a lawyer, but you could make the argument that my child was kidnapped, twice. And you'd think Georgie would be on my side, but he wasn't even upset.
Meemaw: Well, you know, sometimes men can be... idiots.
Dale: Lovable idiots.
Dale Quotes
Quote from the episode Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey
Meemaw: Where we eating tonight?
Dale: Well, that depends. Why don't you look in the glovebox and check on the Tums situation.
Meemaw: There's five.
Dale: Oh, my, this is tricky. Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.
Meemaw: We might get by with two each if it's Italian.
Dale: You get red wine and then tomato sauce. Hey, if they put lemon in the water, we're dead.
Meemaw: Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
Dale: Sold.
Meemaw: Who gets Tum number three?
Dale: Me. They're my Tums.
Quote from the episode Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency
Meemaw: I'll have the rib eye, medium rare.
Waiter: And for you?
Dale: Uh, just the house salad, please.
Waiter: Very good.
Meemaw: House salad? You watching your figure?
Dale: I have a physical tomorrow.
Meemaw: Oh, so your plan is to start eating healthy now?
Dale: Can't hurt.
Meemaw: It ain't gonna undo years of red meat and beer.
Dale: I'm not trying to undo it, I'm just trying to hide it under some lettuce.
Quote from the episode A Proper Wedding and Skeletons in the Closet
Meemaw: I got to go open up the gambling room. Can you watch her for about an hour?
Dale: I just had coffee and a bowl of Raisin Bran. Next hour is spoken for.
Meemaw: You could've just said no.
Dale: I'm trying to keep the romance alive.
‘Baptists, Catholics and an Attempted Drowning’ Quotes
Quote from Adult Sheldon
[After Sheldon storms off with his upgraded computer:]
Jim: He gonna be okay?
George: Oh. Tonight, sure. Big picture? [shrugs]
Adult Sheldon: I've got a hot wife and a Nobel Prize. I turned out fine.
Quote from Pastor Jeff
Mary: [on the phone] Hi, Pastor Jeff. Can you come over right now? I need you to save someone's soul.
[Cut to Mary opening the front door to Pastor Jeff, who is holding his bible:]
Pastor Jeff: Whose soul needs saving? Is it Sheldon? I've been waiting for this.
Mary: No. We're still praying for him. Come in, we don't have much time.
Quote from Sheldon
Georgie: It's for my daughter. Mom baptized her in the kitchen sink, and Mandy's mom did it in a Catholic church.
Sheldon: Sure. Baptists versus Catholics. Much blood was shed over that in the 1500s.