Mandy: Mom around?
Jim: Why?
Mandy: I'm not looking for a fight. I just have a wedding update.
Jim: Mm, sounds like fighting words to me.
Mandy: Dad.
Jim: Audrey! Mandy's here. She says she's not looking for a fight.
Audrey: [enters] Hello, Amanda.
Mandy: Hi, Mom.
Jim: [shivers] Just get chilly in here or what? [laughs]

Mary: Hi, Jim.
Jim: Hey, Mary. Good to see you. You looking for some tires?
Mary: Actually, I'm looking for your wife.
Jim: Oh. You're not gonna yell at her again, are you?
Mary: No, no.
Jim: Okay, you sure about that? 'Cause I wouldn't mind seeing it.

Georgie: Yeah, life would be so much easier if they just realized how alike they are.
Jim: Don't say that. Don't ever say that.
Georgie: We're alone in a closet. You said I could speak my mind.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, but not that.
Georgie: So where?
Jim: Nowhere. They, uh... they'll know.

Audrey: Mary. We're so sorry.
Mary: Thank you.
Jim: Well, I didn't know him long, but, uh, I loved that guy.
Georgie: [nods] He felt like y'all were long-lost friends.
Jim: [voice breaking] Oh, here we go.
Mandy: Come on, let's get you some Kleenex.

Georgie: It's for my daughter. Mom baptized her in the kitchen sink, and Mandy's mom did it in a Catholic church.
Sheldon: Sure. Baptists versus Catholics. Much blood was shed over that in the 1500s.

Mary: [on the phone] Hi, Pastor Jeff. Can you come over right now? I need you to save someone's soul.
[Cut to Mary opening the front door to Pastor Jeff, who is holding his bible:]
Pastor Jeff: Whose soul needs saving? Is it Sheldon? I've been waiting for this.
Mary: No. We're still praying for him. Come in, we don't have much time.

Mary: We have to say something.
George: Or we mind our business.
Mary: It is a sin, George.
George: And like a good Christian, I choose to forgive them.