Meemaw: Who is this guy? Where's perky Heather with today's weather?
Mandy: I don't know, I think the sports guy's filling in.
Chip: [on TV] This storm is just gonna make a full-court press. And just run right on past Houston, right on past Lufkin, all the way over to Medford over here...
Meemaw: He ain't even pointin' at Medford.
Chip: That's a drive that Jack Nicklaus would be proud of right there.
Mandy: I used to do that job. You know, it's not as easy as you'd think. [cheerful voice] You got to look forward, but point backward while reading the script. All with sunshine in your voice.
Meemaw: I could actually hear the sunshine in your voice.
Mandy: Thanks. [CeeCee cries over baby monitor] Now back to CeeCee in the nursery with screaming.

Georgie: Well, I can write you a letter if you want.
Mandy: Please don't.
Georgie: Why not?
Mandy: 'Cause your spelling makes me sad.
Georgie: I can use small words.

Audrey: You know, I was thinking, for your something old, you could wear my veil.
Mandy: You know, Georgie's 11 years younger than me. I-I think I am the something old.
Audrey: [chuckles] Don't worry. When he loses all his hair, he's gonna look way older than you.
Mandy: Aw. Thanks.

Georgie: I know it's a lot.
Mandy: It's amazing. [chuckles]
Georgie: It is?
Mandy: My kid's going to private school. You're going to private school!

Mary: I'm waitin'.
George: For what?
Mary: The "I told you so." 'Cause I coddled Sheldon and apparently ruined his life.
George: Oh. I'm not gonna say that. I mean, you did coddle him and I did tell ya... All right, I told you so.
Mary: Thanks for not sayin' it.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Yes, is this the Columbia summer science honors program? Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper, perhaps you've heard of me. Well, now you have. Anyways, it's recently come to my attention that you could be an important step in my career advancement. So, good news, I'm available. Yes, I understand I've missed the deadline, but I'm sure you can make an exception. [emotional] But I'm Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon: Hold on, should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
Dr. John Sturgis: The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
Sheldon: You're my advisors, why didn't you advise me of this?
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice...
Sheldon: No thank you.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
Sheldon: I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
[present:]
Dr. Linkletter: Do you remember that?
Sheldon: I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.