Missy: She's so cute.
Mandy: Yeah.
Missy: How long has she been crying?
Mandy: Her whole life.
Missy: [scoffs] I got a brother like that.

Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.

Sheldon: Uh-oh.
Missy: What?
Sheldon: Listen to this. "French philosopher, mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, argued a rational person should believe God exists because you have everything to gain if you're right, and nothing to lose if you're wrong."
Missy: Sounds right.

Georgie: What kind of homework is it?
Missy: Grammar.
Georgie: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

Sheldon: Hello, Niblingo. Little nibling.
Mandy: What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I was hoping I could try to calm your baby down.
Mandy: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying new things to build up a tolerance for setbacks and frustration.
Mandy: So you want to use my child for some kind of experiment?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mandy: Okay, here you go.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hang on. Are you familiar with the Fred Astaire song "Pick Yourself Up"?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. John Sturgis: From the beloved musical Swing Time?
Sheldon: Still no.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then prepare to be uplifted. [sings] ♪ Nothing's impossible, I have found ♪ ♪ For when my chin is on the ground ♪ ♪ I pick myself up ♪ ♪ Dust myself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again ♪
Sheldon: I'm not uplifted.
Dr. John Sturgis: [talks] Well, then buckle up for the second verse. [sings] ♪ Don't lose your confidence if you slip ♪ ♪ Be grateful for a pleasant trip ♪ ♪ And pick yourself up ♪ ♪ Dust yourself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again. ♪

Adult Sheldon: The next day, as I walked across campus, I could feel all eyes were on me, judging me for my failure. Look at them laughing at me. It was the closest I ever came to a walk of shame.