Sheldon: [on the phone] [deeper voice] Hello, Mr. Jennings. Mr. Cooper here. Yes, I know we have an appointment for tomorrow, but I thought, why wait to do this face-to-face when we could do it over the phone? Ha, ha. Well, it's just that there's been so much interest in the grant database, I wanted to make sure that you got a chance to hear it first. Excellent. Well... [dialling tones] I'm on the phone.
Mary: [on the line] Oh. Sorry, baby.
Sheldon: Uh, so you can hang up now.
Mary: Your voice sounds funny, are you coming down with a cold?
Sheldon: No, I'm fine. This is my normal adult voice.
Mary: I guess I just miss that sweet little boy voice.
Sheldon: [squeaky voice] Mom! Wh... I-It doesn't matter how old I am, Mr. Jennings, because I'm really, really smart.
Mary: Oh, is this about his database thingy? He is so excited about that I could barely get him to bed last night.
Sheldon: Mom!

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Sheldon: Good morning. I'm Sheldon Cooper. Thank you for taking the time to hear my proposal. I have some handouts.
Mr. Anderson: I-I'm sorry, who are you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm... Sheldon Cooper. I'm here to pitch my idea for a grant computer database.
Mr. Anderson: How old are you?
Sheldon: When you hear my presentation, I believe you'll realize my age is irrelevant.
Mr. Anderson: So there's no adult with you?
Sheldon: Well, my mom drove me here, but I told her to wait in the car.
Mr. Anderson: Is this a joke?
Sheldon: I assure you, it's not. When I make jokes, I follow them with a "bazinga" so it's clear. Like this: "Bazinga."

Missy: And just so you know, Little Mermaid is rated G, and they totally kiss. On the lips.

Sheldon: No one will even listen to my ideas. I'm being discriminated against because I'm too young.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.