Meemaw: How 'bout... when we get home... I make it up to ya?
Dale: Now, hold on. You want to... you want to wipe out a $2500, debt with one roll in the hay?
Meemaw: Are you saying I'm not worth it?
Dale: I'm saying it's a lot of money.
Meemaw: Never mind. Offer's off the table.
Dale: No, no, no, wait a minute. Hang on.
Meemaw: Too late. Too late.
Dale: Hey, I was thinking a fair price would be... $500 a roll.
Meemaw: Well, isn't that what a girl wants to hear?
Dale: Seemed fair to me.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Sheldon: For example, if Mandy and Georgie were married, she'd be our sister-in-law.
Missy: But they're not.
Sheldon: Exactly. So we need a term for the unmarried mother of our future niece or nephew.
Missy: How 'bout "Mandy"?
Sheldon: Follow me... if we knew the sex of the baby and it was a boy, I was thinking we could call Mandy "nephewterus," because she'd be having a nephew in her uterus. However, "nieceuterus" just doesn't hit the ear right.
Missy: I still think "Mandy" works.
Sheldon: Now, there is a gender-neutral term coined by linguist Samuel Martin in the 1950s, which takes the "N" from "niece" or "nephew" with "sibling"” to get "nibling."
Missy: So she'd be our nibling?
Sheldon: No, the baby's the nibling. Mandy would be either the niblingess or the niblinger. Or, in a swerve from our traditional German suffixes, "niblingo."
Missy: That one.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, that one's the winner.

Sheldon: What is happening to our family?
Missy: I know. Georgie and Meemaw in jail.
Sheldon: Mom getting kicked out of the church.
Missy: Georgie having a baby out of wedlock. You know what this means, don't you?
Sheldon: What?
Missy: We really are white trash.
Sheldon: Speak for yourself. I'm in college on a full ride. But I wish y'all luck.

Sheldon: Do you think Georgie got a tattoo in jail?
Mary: No.
Sheldon: Do you think Meemaw did?
Mary: Probably.