Mary: What is your problem?
George Sr.: Doesn't matter.
Mary: Hey. [sighs] If something is going on, tell me.
George Sr.: [sighs] They're coming after me at work.
Mary: Who?
George Sr.: The boosters. They want a new coach.
Mary: Are you getting fired?
George Sr.: I don't know. Maybe. Don't you have to go?
Mary: [hugs George] I'm sorry.
George Sr.: [sniffles] Thank you.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Mary: What is going on? Sheldon, are you okay?
Sheldon: My stomach hurts.
Darren: He's gonna throw up.
Mary: Did you give him beer? Did they give you beer?!
[Mary follows Sheldon, Darren and Oscar into the dorm room]
Sheldon: Just root beer.
Mary: It's gonna be okay, baby. [Sheldon throws up] Oh. Why is it so colorful?
Sheldon: Too many... [gags] Skittles. [retches]

George Sr.: Where's the coffee?
George Jr.: I finished it.
George Sr.: When you finish a pot, you're supposed to make more.
Mary: Oh, is that the rule?
George Sr.: It is for him. Why are you reading my paper?
George Jr.: Well, pardon me for keeping up on events of the day.
George Sr.: Tomorrow's headline: Father Strangles Son.
George Jr.: Good luck. My horoscope says "things are looking up."

Adult Sheldon: Grown-ups and the elderly had always liked me, and now I had won over undergrads. Like a beloved board game, I'm fun for ages nine to 90.