David: [answers phone] Tandy Tech Support. This is David. How can I help you?
Sheldon: Hello, I'm having a problem with my Tandy 1000SL.
David: What's going on?
Sheldon: I think I have a computer virus.
David: [chuckles] Well, let's not jump there yet. Could be lots of things. What did you see?
Sheldon: Pixels started disappearing, and then a message read: "DISK DESTROYER - Your hard drive is now corrupted."
David: Yeah, that's a virus.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
David: Have you used any unlicensed software lately?
Sheldon: Um... I'm not sure I should answer that without consulting an attorney first.
David: Hey, hey, I get it. I play a lot of games, not always officially purchased. I'm just here to help get your computer up and running.
Sheldon: Thank you for understanding, David. I'm not usually a rule-breaker, but it was Railroad Kingdom and I really wanted it because I love trains. And it was $49.95. My mom said it was too expensive. And I was going to buy it eventually, and Tam said that was good enough, so I got a bootleg copy, and now I have a virus, which I very much deserve.
David: I'm sorry, who's Tam?

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Adult Sheldon: Like a virus, heartbreak can also spread. Once it does, it's hard to contain. In some cases you can try to reboot and start over. But it makes you appreciate those early days, when your hard drive was clean... and the world was full of possibility.

Meemaw: So how come it's taken us so long to hang out?
Brenda Sparks: Well... my husband never left me before.
Meemaw: We can joke about it? Good. 'Cause that's gonna make this night way easier.

Mary: So, then, was there no big blowup when he left?
Brenda Sparks: Not really.
Mary: Well, what happened?
Brenda Sparks: Let's see... We used to be happy. Little by little, we weren't. Then there was bickering, then there was silence, and then... it was over.
Mary: I mean... all couples bicker, right?
Meemaw: You worried about you and George?
Mary: Of course.
Brenda Sparks: I'm sure you guys will be fine.
Meemaw: And if it doesn't work out, I'd be happy to introduce you to Butt Crack Bob over here. [laughs]