David: [answers phone] Tandy Tech Support. This is David. How can I help you?
Sheldon: Hello, I'm having a problem with my Tandy 1000SL.
David: What's going on?
Sheldon: I think I have a computer virus.
David: [chuckles] Well, let's not jump there yet. Could be lots of things. What did you see?
Sheldon: Pixels started disappearing, and then a message read: "DISK DESTROYER - Your hard drive is now corrupted."
David: Yeah, that's a virus.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.
David: Have you used any unlicensed software lately?
Sheldon: Um... I'm not sure I should answer that without consulting an attorney first.
David: Hey, hey, I get it. I play a lot of games, not always officially purchased. I'm just here to help get your computer up and running.
Sheldon: Thank you for understanding, David. I'm not usually a rule-breaker, but it was Railroad Kingdom and I really wanted it because I love trains. And it was $49.95. My mom said it was too expensive. And I was going to buy it eventually, and Tam said that was good enough, so I got a bootleg copy, and now I have a virus, which I very much deserve.
David: I'm sorry, who's Tam?

Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Adult Sheldon: Like a virus, heartbreak can also spread. Once it does, it's hard to contain. In some cases you can try to reboot and start over. But it makes you appreciate those early days, when your hard drive was clean... and the world was full of possibility.

Meemaw: Well, let's get into it. What happened? If it's another woman, she's a tramp, and you're way prettier.
Brenda Sparks: No. Although sometimes I wish there was. Then I'd have someone to be mad at other than myself.
Meemaw: And here I thought this one was gonna be the sad sack.
Mary: Mom, that is enough.
Meemaw: Oh, there's my little killjoy. [both laughing]

Adult Sheldon: As long as humans have been on Earth, they've had to contend with viruses. And as long as I've been on Earth, I've come up with fun ways to avoid them.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: I've heard so much about you. [offers hand]
Sheldon: Apparently not how I feel about shaking hands.
Adult Sheldon: I wear personal protective equipment...
[flashback to Sheldon putting on mittens at the dinner table]
[flashback to Sheldon wearing an astronaut suit in his bubble:]
Mary: You come here right this instant.
Adult Sheldon: ...and I was social distancing before it was cool. But in the early '90s, a new type of virus became prevalent. One that no amount of hand-washing could stop. A computer virus.
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Adult Sheldon: But let's back up and begin this story in a simpler time, before an insidious infection had upended my life.