Brenda Sparks: I-I'll handle this. To friends.
Meemaw: [laughs] And to Brenda's crap husband who made this night possible.
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: It's okay, she said we could joke about it.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Adult Sheldon: Like a virus, heartbreak can also spread. Once it does, it's hard to contain. In some cases you can try to reboot and start over. But it makes you appreciate those early days, when your hard drive was clean... and the world was full of possibility.

Meemaw: So how come it's taken us so long to hang out?
Brenda Sparks: Well... my husband never left me before.
Meemaw: We can joke about it? Good. 'Cause that's gonna make this night way easier.

Mary: So, then, was there no big blowup when he left?
Brenda Sparks: Not really.
Mary: Well, what happened?
Brenda Sparks: Let's see... We used to be happy. Little by little, we weren't. Then there was bickering, then there was silence, and then... it was over.
Mary: I mean... all couples bicker, right?
Meemaw: You worried about you and George?
Mary: Of course.
Brenda Sparks: I'm sure you guys will be fine.
Meemaw: And if it doesn't work out, I'd be happy to introduce you to Butt Crack Bob over here. [laughs]