President Hagemeyer: All I'm asking you to do is to go to dinner, talk about science with a very nice and, more importantly, a very rich person.
Sheldon: Understood. No, thank you.
George: Buddy...
President Hagemeyer: All right, uh, Sheldon, I was brought to this school to help raise its profile, and one of the ways to do that is through grants and donations. You- You can understand that, right?
Sheldon: I understand that you would like to put the novelty of my age and advanced intellect on display to raise some cash.
President Hagemeyer: No. Sort of. [to George] Can I speak to you alone?
George: Will you give us a minute?
Sheldon: Very well. But if you're looking to see if my father will be a potential donor, you are barking up the wrong tree.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Meemaw: Where we eating tonight?
Dale: Well, that depends. Why don't you look in the glovebox and check on the Tums situation.
Meemaw: There's five.
Dale: Oh, my, this is tricky. Well, Mexican's at least three apiece.
Meemaw: We might get by with two each if it's Italian.
Dale: You get red wine and then tomato sauce. Hey, if they put lemon in the water, we're dead.
Meemaw: Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
Dale: Sold.
Meemaw: Who gets Tum number three?
Dale: Me. They're my Tums.

Georgie: See? They ain't allowed to dance, either.
Missy: It's like I'm watching my life.
Georgie: That's how I feel when I'm watching Top Gun.

Dale: Now, what do you think young people talk about on their dates?
Meemaw: I don't know. But my knee's telling me it's gonna rain this weekend.