Adult Sheldon: To figure out which school of philosophy suited me best, I decided to sample each one. The same way I determined my favorite flavor of oatmeal... Plain.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit. Obsessively fixating on them, now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Meemaw: Okay, I'm here. What's up?
George: Sheldon won't get out of bed, and I'm gonna be late for work. He's gonna be late for school.
Meemaw: So you want me to get him up and drive him?
George: Yeah.
Meemaw: I like it better when I just come eat your food and leave.

Meemaw: What's this philosophy teacher's name?
Sheldon: Professor Ericson. Why?
Meemaw: I might pop in and say hello.
Sheldon: Be careful. She may make you question your most deeply held values.
Meemaw: I'm a stubborn old crank. I'll do just fine.
Sheldon: I'm a stubborn young crank, and it didn't help me.

Meemaw: Shelly, Dr. Sturgis is on the line for you.
Sheldon: Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but very well. [takes phone] Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] Hi, Sheldon. I hear you're going through some sort of existential crisis.
Sheldon: I suppose so. I just don't know if we can tell what's real or not. And if nothing's real, I don't know what to think or if I'm even thinking at all.
Dr. John Sturgis: I went through something similar once.
Sheldon: Really? What happened?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was trekking through the Amazon, and I saw two frogs, one hallucinogenic and the other not. [chuckles] I tried to lick the normal one, and, by mistake, I licked the hallucinogenic one. It really rocked my world.
Sheldon: Why would you lick either of them?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar. But the point is, I also lost track of reality.
Sheldon: How did you handle it?
Dr. John Sturgis: I saw a jaguar, and I realized I didn't care if it was real or not. I just hauled my tushy out of there.
Sheldon: I appreciate the call. I'm giving you back to my meemaw now.
Dr. John Sturgis: Bye!
Meemaw: [quietly on the phone] Hey, John, any luck?
Dr. John Sturgis: Not unless you have access to a jaguar.
Meemaw: I don't think I do.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really, any jungle cat will do.