Adult Sheldon: That night, my brother turned a ratty old van into his chariot of love. Romance was in the air.
Mr. Boggs: Hey.
George Jr.: Oh. Hey, Mr. Boggs. I-I'm just here to pick up Jana.
Mr. Boggs: You think you're taking my daughter out in this?
George Jr.: No worries. I'll have her home by 11:00.
Mr. Boggs: [exhales] [grabs the door handle]
George Jr.: Ooh. I wouldn't open that.
Mr. Boggs: Move. [exhales]
[As Mr. Boggs looks inside Georgie's newly furnished van, complete with twinkle lights and a lava lamp, his eyes are drawn towards the freshly-made bed.]
George Jr.: It's got a mini fridge.
[later:]
George Jr.: I thought about what you said. I'm returning the van. Good night.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Missy: Why don't you believe in God? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: Because science explains the universe without the need of inventing a supernatural being.
Missy: But how do you know for sure He doesn't exist?
Sheldon: Ooh. [raises hand]
Missy: Stop that.
Sheldon: The burden of proof isn't on me. If I said there was an invisible monkey in the room with us, you shouldn't believe me just because you can't prove me wrong.

Pastor Jeff: Now, for a psalm 100 bookmark, who can name the apostles? [Billy raises his hand] Billy.
Billy Sparks: Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...
Pastor Jeff: Those are dwarves. Anyone else?

George Sr.: Just go get your money back and buy a different car.
George Jr.: No.
George Sr.: Georgie, I'm not playing around.
George Jr.: Neither am I. I bought it with my own money, and you don't get a say.
George Sr.: As long as you live under my roof, I get plenty of say.
George Jr.: Fine. I'll move out.
George Sr.: And where you gonna go?
George Jr.: I'll live in the van.
George Sr.: [laughs] You know what? It was only a matter of time before you lived in a van. Have at it.
George Jr.: Scooby-Doo lived in a van, and he turned out fine.