Mary: To be honest, I'm a little concerned that I have given you the wrong impression about how prayer works.
Missy: I get it. I ask God for stuff, he gives it to me. It's not rocket science.
Mary: Missy, God does not grant wishes.
Missy: So he gave me good luck?
Mary: [sighs] It's not luck. Luck is chance, and God has a plan.
Missy: Right, and his plan is to give me what I want when I pray. That's why he's so cool.
Mary: No. I- I mean, he is cool, but sometimes that might not be his plan.
Missy: Then what's the point of praying if he's just gonna do what he wants?
Mary: You don't pray to God to get things. You pray to build a relationship with him.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

George Jr.: Should I be wearing all that?
Sheldon: I recommend it. Those rocks are filthy.
George Jr.: I'm good. God made dirt. Dirt don't hurt.

George Jr.: Tell me, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It occurred to me that a good way to generate a positive cash flow would be to curate popular songs and make them available in a digital form. Possibly on a small device that could also be used as a phone or even a camera.
George Jr.: Right. [mocking] A phone, camera, music machine. Get out of here.

George Jr.: "Sell blood or non-vital organs."
George Sr.: Mm, give 'em your brain. You're not using it. [Sheldon laughs] I think that's the only time I've ever heard you laugh.
Sheldon: That's the only time you've ever been funny.