Principal Petersen: Hold your horses. If Sheldon walks out that door, our test scores drop hard. That affects funding, which affects your salaries.
Ms. Ingram: Ugh. Well, how can we help?
Principal Petersen: Y'all need to make George and Sheldon so happy here they want to stay.
Ms. MacElroy: Oh, come on.
Mr. Givens: Isn't there anything else we can do?
Principal Petersen: Yeah, Mr. Givens. You could do a better job at teaching the other students so we don't rely on one boy to pull up everyone's grades.
Mr. Givens: Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon.

George Sr.: Hey, Hubert. Was Sheldon in class today?
Mr. Givens: Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
George Sr.: Weren't you gonna say anything?
Mr. Givens: I didn't want to jinx it.

Sheldon: Mr. Givens, I just wanted you to know that I'm still working hard on my campaign to get more funding for the science department.
Mr. Givens: Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself.

George Sr.: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I want to know why no one told me about this recruitment letter from Caltech.
George Sr.: Let me see that.
Mr. Givens: All right, let's get me drunk.
Sheldon: Hi, Mr. Givens.
Mr. Givens: Aw, come on!

Sheldon: [answering phone] Cooper residence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis. I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in the middle of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a good one. Geordi goes missing, but Wesley Crusher has a plan to use neutrinos to locate him, since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor.
Dr. John Sturgis: I was actually calling to speak to your father. But I'm glad you're having fun with your friends.
Sheldon: Hang on. I'll go get him. Dad! Phone call!
Adult Sheldon: Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused, one day, Wesley Crusher really would be my friend. Neat, huh?

Mary: Well, if it's everywhere, how can we fight it?
Pastor Jeff: We may not be able to control the world, but we can control our homes. It's up to us to create an environment where the sin of greed can find no purchase.
Mary: Is that what you've done in your home?
Pastor Jeff: Well, I do make my toast vertically, two slices at a time. Take that, Satan.

Dr. John Sturgis: Here we go.
Adult Sheldon: For many kids, Christmas morning was the most exciting day of the year. That's only because most kids don't know the joy of getting their college midterms back. It also didn't hurt that Dr. Sturgis looked like an elf.
Dr. John Sturgis: Nice work, Sheldon. Now, you'll notice that your grades are lower than expected. That's because Sheldon did so well, he broke the curve, turning your A's and B's into B's and C's.
Sheldon: They don't seem happy about it. Maybe you can give them candy.