Sheldon Quote #549
Quote from Sheldon in the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
Sheldon: Oh, hello, is this the Nelson residence? Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper, the executive assistant secretary at the First Baptist Church of Medford. I'm looking through our donation records, and I've noticed that you've tapered off a bit. Well, yes, your children's education is expensive, but so is running a church. Oh, boy! I'll be sure to tell the pastor. Goodbye. [hangs up phone] That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
Sheldon Quotes
Quote from the episode White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People
Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.
Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.
Quote from the episode Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism
Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.
‘A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster’ Quotes
Quote from Sheldon
[Church board says "Jesus Exorcises Every Day."]
Sheldon: Did you write that?
Mary: You betcha.
Sheldon: Instead of puns, have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards. For example, "Do geese see God?" Trust me. Both ways.
Mary: Come inside.
Sheldon: Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak. That's a funny word. Kayak. Never get me in one.
Quote from George Jr.
Pastor Jeff: Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this.
George Jr.: It was our pleasure.
Quote from George Sr.
George Sr.: So, tough times, huh?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah. Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything about heartache and such?
Pastor Jeff: Psalm 147, verse three: "The Lord healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
George Sr.: Well, there you go-eth.