Herschel Sparks: Hey, George.
George Sr.: Hey, Herschel. Let me guess, you're here to complain about Sheldon's violin playing.
Herschel Sparks: Under normal circumstances, I'd say yeah, but since he started, my chickens been dropping eggs like crazy.
George Sr.: That's weird.

Herschel Sparks: I appreciate that, but you got to know there's an upside to this.
George Sr.: And that would be?
Herschel Sparks: Your son has got a special gift.
George Sr.: A gift? We are talking about Georgie, right?
Herschel Sparks: Yeah. I mean, first off, the kid really knows his way around an engine, which is all well and good. But when it comes to fixing tires, I swear, I've never seen anything like him.
George Sr.: Tires? How do you mean?
Herschel Sparks: George, I've been patching flats for 25 years. You know, slap some soapy water on them, look for the air bubble. But your son, he doesn't need any tricks. He knows where the puncture holes are.
George Sr.: He knows?
Herschel Sparks: He knows. He's got a sixth sense for tire damage. I mean, you got to see him in action. It'll give you chills.
George Sr.: You know, now that you say it, whenever we had a leaky football, he knew exactly where the hole was.
Herschel Sparks: I am telling you, your boy's got a future in the tire business. Goodyear, Firestone, somebody's gonna scoop him up first round.

George Sr.: Thanks for hearin' me out.
Herschel Sparks: Your wife sent you over here, didn't she?
George Sr.: I don't want to talk about it.
Herschel Sparks: I bet she did!
George Sr.: Not talkin' about it!
Herschel Sparks: Tell her I said hi!

Herschel Sparks: Well, howdy, neighbor.
George Sr.: Hey, Herschel.
Herschel Sparks: What brings you by? Chickens too loud?
George Sr.: Nah, they been fine.
Herschel Sparks: Good, good. Fried up the noisy one last week. That shut him up.

George Sr.: What's going on? You all right?
Mary: I'm not feeling great.
George Sr.: Is it a pregnant thing? 'Cause I got some good news on that. I got a decent raise.
Mary: It doesn't matter.
George Sr.: What do you mean it doesn't matter? We can pull this off now.
Mary: I lost the baby.
George Sr.: Oh.
Mary: You're probably relieved, huh?
George Sr.: Actually no. I love the first three. Fourth one's a charm, right?

Rabbi Schneiderman: Can I ask how your parents feel about this?
Sheldon: Well, when I presented them with my plan, the words "over my dead body" were used.
Rabbi Schneiderman: [chuckles] I'm not surprised.
Sheldon: But they were similarly resistant when I wanted to get an ant farm and eventually they came around.
Rabbi Schneiderman: All right, here's what I'm gonna tell you to do. Read your Bible.
Sheldon: Already did, cover to cover.
Rabbi Schneiderman: Really?
Sheldon: Quiz me.
Rabbi Schneiderman: No, that's okay, I believe you. All right, my advice to you is to stay with the faith of your parents.
Sheldon: What else you got?
Rabbi Schneiderman: Okay. Then I'm gonna tell you to be your own man.
Sheldon: But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein.
Rabbi Schneiderman: Sheldon, when your days are over, God will never ask you, "Why weren't you Einstein?" But he might ask you, "Why weren't you Sheldon?"

Sheldon: Thank you, but I will no longer be needing these.
Ms. Fenley: You're giving up so soon? What happened? Did it hurt your fingers?
Sheldon: No. I'm following the advice of a very wise Rabbi Schneiderman from Temple Judea in Houston.
Ms. Fenley: Is this another one of your jokes?
Sheldon: No. If it were a joke, your mouth would be open and the sound "ha-ha" would be coming out.