George Jr.: Hey, Mom, just a heads-up, I'm getting baptized tomorrow.
Mary: Good Lord. That boy's randiness knows no bounds.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
George Jr.: Howdy. Praise Jesus.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
George Jr.: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

George Jr.: You here to see me?
Veronica: I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
George Jr.: Oh, sure, of course. I'm glad you could join us. Come in, won't you?
Veronica: You're part of the group, too?
George Jr.: Faith, the Bible, God, I'm nuts for that stuff.