Sheldon: Dad, would you care for a piece of gum?
George Sr.: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Please, take a piece of gum.
George Sr.: Why?
Sheldon: Just please. Bazinga.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Mary: Sheldon, faith means believing in something you can't know for sure is real. And right now, I am struggling with that.
Sheldon: So you don't believe in God anymore?
Mary: That isn't something for you to worry about. I need to figure this out myself.
Sheldon: Can I help? Maybe I could provide a fresh perspective.
Mary: I don't think so, baby.
Sheldon: Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball?
Mary: I did not.
Sheldon: Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there would be no stars or planets.
Mary: Where you going with this, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't one percent, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself?
Mary: Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God.
Sheldon: I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator.
Mary: Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but logic is here. And my problem is here.
Sheldon: Well, there are 5 billion people on this planet and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that?

Paige: You know, I read that adults who had a stunted childhood often become social misfits and weirdos.
Sheldon: You didn't read that, you're making it up like your goat story.
Paige: Psychology Magazine, February issue, 1988.
Sheldon: Well, um, that doesn't make it true.
Paige: Guess you'll find out when you're an adult.
Sheldon: I guess I will.
Adult Sheldon: Well, we know how this story ends. I grew up to become a well-adjusted and charming fellow. But at that moment in time, she had me worried.

Adult Sheldon: And that's how I became the madcap prankster all my friends know and love.

Dr. John Sturgis: I don't think I can do this, Connie.
Meemaw: Of course you can. We're just getting started.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it's too much information. I can't process it.
Meemaw: It was just a yellow light.
Dr. John Sturgis: Not just the light. There were other cars. There's pedestrians. There was a guy on a bicycle.
Meemaw: So?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's just too many random elements. The- The- The stimuli are overwhelming.