Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Okay, Missy, the first thing we're gonna do is test your problem-solving ability.
Missy: Okay.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: You ready?
Missy: I just have one question.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: What's that?
Missy: Do you always wear your hair up?
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Uh, well, usually at work, yes.
Missy: I bet it looks cute down.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Thank you. Okay, you're all set.
Missy: Is that camera gonna be on?
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Yes.
Missy: Can you move it over to that side?
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Why?
Missy: If I've learned one thing from school picture day, it's that I look better from that side.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Sure, I'll move it.
Missy: Okay. And bring it a little closer.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: How's that?
Missy: Great.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Okay. Whenever you're ready.
Missy: Wait. Do I have any Oreos in my teeth?
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: No. Ready to start?
Missy: One last thing. Did you ever think of wearing that white coat with a belt?
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: No.
Missy: You should. 'Cause you have a very nice figure, and it's lost in there.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Meemaw: You're not gonna get much out of Fred and Wilma here. Why don't you just get crackin' on the kids?

Dr. John Sturgis: So, some colleagues of mine at the university are doing a research study on twins. I told them about Sheldon and his sister, and they were most intrigued.
George Sr.: Uh, what kind of study?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's a longitudinal investigation of environmental and genetic factors in the development of cognitive and other capacities in pairs of fraternal and identical twins.
Meemaw: You asked.

George Sr.: Well, geez, I don't I don't know if I want some scientists pokin' and proddin' the kids.
Meemaw: Oh, but they wouldn't be poked and prodded. They just have to, you know, answer some questions.
Dr. John Sturgis: And maybe some puzzles and tests.
George Sr.: That's not too bad. Where is it?
Dr. John Sturgis: Houston.
George Sr.: Oh, it just got bad. That's that's a long drive.
Dr. John Sturgis: It does pay $50 an hour plus gas and expenses.
George Sr.: Really?
Meemaw: I told you to start with that.