Adult Sheldon: I don't care how dimwitted you are, scientific principles have to make you smile. Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Hello, Billy Sparks. Hello, Matilda Sparks.
Billy Sparks: I heard you're going to high school tomorrow.
Sheldon: I am. You're going to have to find someone else to torment on the playground.
Billy Sparks: "Torment"?
Sheldon: (sighs) It means to maliciously harass.
Billy Sparks: "Her ass"? (chuckles) That's funny.
Sheldon: Well, this was nice.
Billy Sparks: [holds chicken close to Sheldon's face] Hey, doofus! (squawks)
Sheldon: Mom!

Ms. MacElroy: All right, everybody, my name is Ms. MacElroy. In addition to being your homeroom teacher, I'll be seeing some of you in my English class, and some of you on the volleyball court. Just to give you a little history, I've been here at Medford for 29 years I taught some of your older brothers and sisters, and sadly, some of your parents. Not much I haven't seen. Until today. I'm sure you're well aware we have a student with us, who, despite his young age, is remarkably gifted. And I expect y'all to make him feel welcome.

Ms. Fenley: Do you know this sonata?
Sheldon: No.
Ms. Fenley: How long have you played the piano?
Sheldon: I don't play piano.

Sheldon: Dad, are you sad that you got fired?
George: Mostly angry. But, yeah, maybe a little sad.

George: I got fired, Sheldon. And I got a bad reputation.

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: [flicks Missy on the head] Hey!

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Adult Sheldon: And when I figured out that trains allowed me to prove Newton's first law: "An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force", I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, alone and happy.

Missy: Sheldon, if you don't get in here, I'm gonna lick your toothbrush!
Sheldon: Coming!
Adult Sheldon: That's my sister. And she's done it before.

Adult Sheldon: My mom was my Christian soldier. And for the record, they descended when I was 15.

Mary: Shelly, you don't really need a tie.
Sheldon: I have to find my tie. I have to find my tie.
Mary: Be right back.
Sheldon: Professor Proton wears a bow-tie!

Sheldon: Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato.
George: Not possible.

Mary: George Junior, give me back that bow-tie right now!
Georgie: I didn't take it!
Mary: Don't you lie to me!
Georgie: I'm not lying!
Mary: We'll see about that.
Georgie: Stay out of my room!
Missy: She's gonna find your dirty magazines.
Georgie: Shut up!
Missy: You are not having a good day.

Sheldon: [emerging from the boys' room] Well, that was revolting.
Mary: [arriving at Sheldon's homeroom] All right. This is your homeroom. Do you want me to go in with you?
Sheldon: No. Although I could've used you in the restroom.