9-year-old Sheldon Cooper is a once-in-a-generation mind capable of advanced mathematics and science but learns that isn't always helpful growing up in East Texas, a land where church and football are king.
Sheldon: This boy's hair is too long. This boy's wearing sports attire outside a designated area. And this girl's blouse is diaphanous, which means I can see her brassiere. Also in violation of the grooming code, you have a bit of a mustache.
Sheldon: I was exploring dimensional kinematics. George Jr.: Admit it. He's adopted. Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Mary: Everybody excited to start school Monday? George Jr.: How can I be excited when he's gonna be in the same grade as me? Sheldon: Don't worry, Georgie. I'm not planning on being in the ninth grade for very long.
Pastor: Why would you entertain evil thoughts? Sheldon: I don't think this part applies to me. Mary: Ssh. Sheldon: I'm only nine years old. Most evil doesn't start until puberty.
Mary: How about we lose the bow-tie? Sheldon: Why? Mary: Look around, honey. No one else is wearing one. Sheldon: Perhaps I'll start a fad.