Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon. What brings you here?
Sheldon: You never showed up to class.
Dr. John Sturgis: Whoops. Time flies when you're having fun.
Sheldon: What could be more fun than giving a physics lecture?
Dr. John Sturgis: Finishing a physics paper.
Sheldon: Ooh, I like where this is headed.

Adult Sheldon: Of all my many skills, one of the lesser known is my impressive ability to wait for things. I once stood perfectly still for 38 minutes because a bee was on my shoulder.
Sheldon: [blows, groans]
Adult Sheldon: I once waited four and a half hours to be released from a locker.
Sheldon: Hello? Anyone there? That's okay. I'll wait.
Adult Sheldon: And one time, when Dr. Sturgis was late for a lecture, I stayed longer than everyone.
Sheldon: Where are you all going?
Student: Professor's not here.
Sheldon: I can teach the class. I just need a box to stand on.

Sheldon: Imagine all the stimulating conversations that must go on at these tables.
George Sr.: I bet.
Sheldon: I can see myself going here one day.
George Sr.: I think you'd fit right in.

Sheldon: I think we've been lied to about California. No one on this campus is tan at all.
George Sr.: No, they are not.

George Sr.: You okay, Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: Doing my best, sir. The captain and Mr. Spock don't hold hands.
George Sr.: Sorry.
Sheldon: Okay, maybe just this once.

George Sr.: Mr. Spock! He flies around all the time in that spaceship. He's not afraid, is he?
Sheldon: I'm not Mr. Spock.
George Sr.: No, but-but I've seen you pretend to be him. Could you do that right now? You be Spock, I'll be Kirk.
Sheldon: Maybe.
George Sr.: Okay, Mr. Spock. Your first order is to return to your seat.
Sheldon: Aye, Captain.

George Sr.: If you want to see Stephen Hawking, we have to sit down right now.
Sheldon: It's too dangerous. I can't!
George Sr.: It's okay to be scared. Th- That's when you got to dig deep and be brave. So, what do you say?
Sheldon: No, I'm your terrified little boy!

Meredith: Take a minute to locate the exit closest to you. The nearest exit could be behind you. Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat...
Sheldon: Why would the cabin lose pressure?
George Sr.: It won't.
Meredith: Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this, pull the strap to tighten it. If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your child.
Sheldon: I don't like this at all.
George Sr.: It's just a precaution. You know perfectly safe.
Meredith: In the unlikely event of a water landing and evacuation. [echoes] Water landing, water landing, water landing.
Sheldon: I can't do this.

Captain: [v.o.] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We're expecting a smooth flight to Los Angeles. Before we take off, please direct your attention to the flight attendants as they review some important safety procedures.
Sheldon: "Safety procedures"? Oh, baby.

George Jr.: If the point is you made some bad decisions and turned out fine, then why you being so hard on me?
Mary: Because some decisions you cannot walk away from and they will affect the rest of your life.
George Jr.: If you're talkin' about Jana getting pregnant, she ain't gonna.
Mary: That is what I thought, and the next thing I know, I'm at the courthouse gettin' married.
George Jr.: You got married because you were pregnant?
Mary: Yes.
George Jr.: So, I was a mistake?
Mary: No! No! You are a blessin'. The mistake was lyin' to my parents, so that I could spend the night at your dad's house. And, you know, tequila.

Mary: I know you don't want to talk, and that's fine. You can just listen. Life is hard enough if you make good decisions, but if you make bad ones, it gets even harder.
George Jr.: Nothin' was gonna happen with Jana.
Mary: Georgie-
George Jr.: No! You always assume the worst with me. I'm sorry you were a perfect kid and I'm just a screwup.
Mary: You are not a screwup. And I was not a perfect kid.
George Jr.: Oh, what'd you do, sleep through church one mornin'?
Mary: For your information I used to skip class so that I could drink beer in my boyfriend's truck.
George Jr.: Dad had a truck back then?
Mary: Not talkin' about your dad.
Mary: I also stole your meemaw's car and crashed it into a ditch.
George Jr.: Really? With that boyfriend who wasn't Dad?
Mary: Missin' the point!

George Sr.: All right, 34A and B this is us. All right, you want the aisle or the window?
Sheldon: Which one is assigned to me?
George Sr.: It doesn't matter, just pick one.
Sheldon: Well, if I sit by the window, I can watch the takeoff and landing, but if I sit on the aisle, I'm closer to the bathroom.
George Sr.: Here we go.
Sheldon: Although if I'm by the window, you'll have to get up when I use the bathroom. But if I'm not, I'll have to get up when you use the bathroom. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's a tricky decision. My bladder's smaller than yours-
Meredith: Everything okay here?
George Sr.: About to be. [picks up Sheldon and puts him in a seat] Here! Aisle it is! We're good.

Meemaw: I tell you what, after practice today, you and me will do somethin' fun.
Missy: Can I have my first cigarette?
Meemaw: No!
Missy: Can I get my ears pierced?
Meemaw: Your mom won't like that. So, maybe.

Meemaw: What's on your mind?
Missy: Sheldon always gets everything he wants.
Meemaw: I guess he does. That's not fair, huh?
Missy: No!
Meemaw: On the other hand, he's just going to some science lecture.
Missy: I know, but he gets to go on a plane to California.
Meemaw: Planes aren't all that great. You can't even smoke on 'em anymore.

Meemaw: You keep frownin' like that, you're gonna get wrinkles like your meemaw.
Missy: You look great.
Meemaw: I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.

Mary: Wash up for dinner.
George Jr.: I ain't eatin'.
Mary: Well, you're not watchin' TV.
George Jr.: I can't leave the house, and now I can't watch TV.
Mary: Yeah, it's called being grounded.
George Jr.: [under his breath] I can't wait to move out.
Mary: What was that?!
George Jr.: Next time, I'll say it on the phone, so you can hear me.

Mary: Let me get a picture of my boys before their big trip.
Sheldon: It's smart to document this. Next time you see me, I'll have been in the presence of Stephen Hawking.
Mary: Smile.
Sheldon: I'd prefer to look serious. This may appear in a textbook someday.
Mary: Say, "Stephen Hawking."
Both: Stephen Hawking.
Sheldon: Aw, you made me smile.

George Sr.: Sheldon was right. They're offerin' to pay for the whole trip.
Mary: Why?
George Sr.: Sturgis talked to his boss, and they really want to keep Sheldon goin' to school there.
Mary: I guess I could take him.
George Sr.: Why you? He asked me first.
Mary: I'm mad at Georgie right now. It'd be good for us to have some space.
George Sr.: So, you pick a fight with Georgie, and I don't get to go to California?
Mary: Fine, you can go.
George Sr.: Thank you.
Mary: Have fun managing Sheldon's bathroom schedule in different time zones.

Sheldon: Dad, the university offered to pay for us to go to California! They're even putting us up in a hotel.
George Sr.: You're kidding.
Missy: We're going to California?
Sheldon: No, just me and Dad.
Missy: That's fair. I'm so happy for you.
Adult Sheldon: Sometimes sarcasm was laid on so thick even I could detect it.
Sheldon: Thanks!
Adult Sheldon: This was not one of those times.

Missy: Dad. You missed everything.
George Sr.: What happened?
Missy: Georgie lied to Mom to be alone at Jana's house, but Mom knew 'cause she listened in on his phone call.
George Sr.: Oh, boy.
Missy: Now he's grounded and everyone's mad. Not me. I'm super happy.
George Sr.: Well... bye.