Sheldon: The timeline doesn't make sense. I mean, it lists Samwise Gamgee's birth year as both 2963 and 2980.
Ms. Hutchins: Maybe he lied about his age.
Sheldon: Why?
Ms. Hutchins: I don't know. Maybe he thinks his neck makes him look older than he is.
Sheldon: But he's only in his 30s. That's young.
Ms. Hutchins: Thank you.
Sheldon: For a hobbit. For a human, that's mommy-age.
Ms. Hutchins: Thank you.

Sheldon: When Frodo and Sam are riding through the Shire, the book says the moon went westward, but according to the calendar Tolkien created, there should have been no moon visible.
Glenn: But in the appendix, Tolkien covers himself by saying there may be mistranslations from the Red Book.
Sheldon: Fictional Tolkien says that, but I can't help wondering if real Tolkien, who wrote the book, made the mistake or if it was an intentional mistake made by the fictional Tolkien, who translated these real-world events from an original source. [walks away]
Glenn: Oh, no. Is that how I sound to people?

Sheldon: Mom. Mom.
Mary: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I was Gollum and Smeagol and I was in a cave fighting with myself over physics and hobbits. And then I realized that even though physics is frustrating, it won't turn me into a tormented creature who bites the heads off fish. Okay, good night.
George: [to Mary] I've been doing a great job with Missy. This one's on you.

Sheldon: Ugh. What am I missing?
Missy: Wake me up one more time, and I will sneeze in your mittens. A big, wet, snotty one.

George: You ever thrown a ball before?
Missy: Just rocks at Sheldon.
George: Did you hit him?
Missy: Every time.

George: All right, since you're right-handed, which I now know, you're gonna bring your arm up and follow through like this.
Missy: Okay.
George: Nice. You might be a natural.
Missy: I'm not surprised. This is the arm I color with.

Sheldon: It occurred to me that Maxwell's equations would achieve full symmetry by adding a magnetic monopole.
Missy: I drew a ladybug.

Frank: Is it okay to set this down?
Sheldon: I'm a little busy. Could you come back later?
George: Sheldon, I'm hungry.
Georgie: Let's just sit over there.
Mary: No. We're gonna eat together as a family.
Sheldon: Instead of electricity, we'll have magnetricity.
Frank: It's getting heavy.
Mary: We'll be right over here if you need us.
George: Let's go.
Missy: Bye, ladybug.

Mary: Baby, what are you doing?
Sheldon: Working.
Mary: Have you been out here all night?
Sheldon: No. Why, what time is it?
Mary: 7:30.
Sheldon: Oh. Then yes.

George: Son of a-
Missy: Dad, you busy?
George: Do I look like I'm busy?
Missy: I can't see what you look like. You're under the sink.

George: You're right-handed, yeah?
Missy: You don't know?
George: Okay, smartass, which one am I?
Missy: ... I'm right-handed.

Sheldon: I wasn't even aware I was chewing them.
Mary: Baby, I think this math problem you're working on is stressing you out.
Sheldon: It makes sense. Einstein struggled with it for 30 years and never found a solution.
Mary: Maybe if you stop thinking about it, it'll just come to you.
Sheldon: No. I can't stop.
Mary: Sheldon.
Sheldon: If I stop, I'll lose momentum. I'll never solve it. I'll be a failure. My life will be worthless.
Mary: Okay, that's it. You're taking a break from science.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why I would do that.
Mary: Where is Dr. Sturgis right now?
Sheldon: That's a good reason.

George: All right, remember, you need to look right where you want the ball to go.
Missy: Where else would I look?
George: Well, in the last five minutes, I saw you watch a butterfly, a squirrel and the ice cream truck.
Missy: You looked at the ice cream truck, too.

Meemaw: Come on, Sheldon. Let's get that blood pumping.
Sheldon: I'd rather not.
Meemaw: Do it. A little exercise will help get your head out of your butt. ... What do you think?
Sheldon: I think I hate this.
Meemaw: Well, you're not thinking about science now, am I right?
Sheldon: I'm thinking about how miserable I am.

Sheldon: Are you positive other people's fingers haven't been in this?
Meemaw: I made sure to get you a new one.
Sheldon: It doesn't look new.
Meemaw: It's new. Let her rip.
Sheldon: I'm still thinking about science.
Meemaw: That's okay. Just aim for the front pin.