Meemaw: What's up?
Mary: George is up for a coaching job at the University of Tulsa.
Meemaw: Tulsa? Ugh. Last year, I lost $800 on that damn team.
Mary: I'm sorry to hear that.
Meemaw: I'm fine with most of the Division I stuff, but these independent teams, I j- I just can't seem to get a handle on it. You think if George got that job he might give me an inside line?
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: Well, I'd cut him in, make it look like a Christmas present.

Mary: Would you please listen to me? If we move up there, other than holidays, you're not gonna see your grandkids.
Meemaw: Oh, that's a point. You make it sound like a Sophie's Choice kind of deal.

Mary: During dinner, maybe you could express how devastating it would be to be away from the kids.
Meemaw: Well, I don't think I'd use the word "devastating." That doesn't sound like me.
Mary: Okay, well, use whatever word you want.
Meemaw: I might use "heartbroken."
Mary: Good, use that.
Meemaw: Yeah, maybe. Have you got a thesaurus?

Missy: Don't be scared, Sheldon, it's just a parade.
Sheldon: I already don't like dogs. Gigantic and floating does not help.

Mary: Georgie?
Georgie: Um, I'm thankful for my job at the auto shop. Uh, let's see- Oh, Alyssa Milano from Who's the Boss? She's really hot. That's about it.
Mary: That's wonderful.

Mary: Shelly?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Mom, but if I answer that question, I'd be violating my experimental protocol.
Mary: Okay, moving on.

Adult Sheldon: : As we sat in silence, I had a horrible realization. For the first time in my life, I didn't look forward to doing my homework.

Meemaw: You want to tell me what happened?
Sheldon: Instead of remaining a neutral observer, I got emotional in front of the whole class.
Meemaw: Well, that's not a big deal.
Sheldon: Yes, it is. I'm a scientist. You never hear about Newton crying like a baby when he got brutalized by an apple.

Meemaw: I think you're being a little tough on yourself.
Sheldon: I wonder why this is affecting me so much.
Meemaw: Well, maybe it has something to do with your parents arguing.
Sheldon: Us moving? I don't think so. Texas, Oklahoma what's the difference?
Meemaw: Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk.

Sheldon: I did read a chapter on repressing emotions. I suppose I could've been doing that to avoid dealing with the fear of change, and moving would certainly be a big change.
Meemaw: That's very astute.
Sheldon: I'd have a new room, in a new house, and the new house would probably have a different smell, and I probably wouldn't like that smell because I don't like new smells, and I'd be going to a new school with new kids and new teachers, and I bet they'd all smell different, as well.
Meemaw: Okay, now calm down.
Sheldon: That's easy for you to say. Your olfactory senses aren't about to be assaulted by the state of Oklahoma.

Mary: Missy?
Missy: I'm thankful that there's two different Ghostbuster cartoons.
Meemaw: That's it?
Missy: Unless you know about a third one.

Meemaw: Okay, let's try a different approach. Can I take you to get some ice cream?
Sheldon: I'm having an emotional crisis, Meemaw. You can't fix that with ice cream.
Meemaw: Right. Sorry. You want to go to RadioShack?
Sheldon: Yes, I want to go to RadioShack!

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes?
Meemaw: Could we do it just one more time?
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? I don't want you to get tired of it.
Meemaw: I won't. Please?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I can't say no to you.
Meemaw: Fire in the hole. [Mary throws a biscuit and John catches it.] Unbelievable. Again, again.

Sheldon: Notes for psychology paper.
Missy: What you doing?
Sheldon: Shh. Family conflict has been observed. Subject M and Subject D have opposing views on relocating.
Missy: You better not be recording over my Janet Jackson tape.
Sheldon: Would you please?
Missy: Who's Subject M and Subject D?
Sheldon: I can't tell you that, you might skew the results.
Missy: Okay, then tell me what skew means.
Sheldon: Are you going to talk the whole time?
Missy: It seems to be annoying you, so, yeah.

George: Hey, so listen, how attached are you to living here in Medford?
Missy: I don't know what that means.
George: If we moved away, do you have really good friends that you'd miss a lot?
Missy: I have really good friends, but I think they would mostly miss me.
George: 'Cause you make friends wherever you go.
Missy: I do. People are drawn to me.