George: Fine. Wayne, grab your pants. You're coming with me.
Coach Wilkins: I don't want to be around you and your happy family.
George: Happy? Uh, couple days with us and you'll be glad that kid ain't yours. Let's go. Pants.

[Sheldon and Missy stand near the couch where Coach Wilkins is asleep and snoring]
Missy: [whispers] What's he doing here?
Sheldon: I don't know. But more importantly, would it be rude if I watch television?
[Sheldon and Missy go to their parents' bedroom]
Missy: [whispers] Mom. Mom.
Mary: What?
Missy: Why is Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch?
Sheldon: No, the question is can I watch TV with Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch? It's a subtle but important difference.
George: Get out.

Nurse: Ms. McAllister, we don't have any insurance information on file for you.
Meemaw: Oh, that's all right. We'll be paying in cash.
Nurse: Cash?
Meemaw: [removes money from bra] In God we trust.
Mandy: You always carry that much cash around?
Meemaw: Do you think there's just boobs in this bra? [chuckles]

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

Georgie: Over in this aisle we've got your new releases. Here are your action and adventures... Your Stallones, your Schwarzeneggers, your Van Dammes, and of course we have a whole row of chick flicks, known in the movie biz as rom-coms.
Mandy: Do not enter? What's back there?
Georgie: Oh, that? That's just some storage and a bunch of machines that rewind the tapes when people are not kind and don't rewind.

Meemaw: Let's take a walk.
Georgie: Try and keep an open mind. [slot machines chiming]
Mandy: Oh, my God.
Georgie: See? Not drugs.
Meemaw: And that is the sound of a 22% house advantage.

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

Georgie: Give me the bucket. I'll watch for leaks while you go eat.
Sheldon: Really?
Georgie: Yeah.
Sheldon: Okay. But keep an eye above the computer, that's the heart of my whole operation.
Georgie: Got it.
Sheldon: And the train set.
Georgie: Go eat.

Sheldon: Status report?
Georgie: Dry as a bone.
Sheldon: So, I have time for a second slice?
Georgie: Go nuts.
Sheldon: Copy. [exits]
Georgie: If our kid's weird, I'm ready. [Mandy laughs]

Meemaw: Morning.
Mandy: Oh. You're up early.
Meemaw: You were out late.
Mandy: Uh, yeah. I was just, uh...
Meemaw: I know where you were.
Mandy: Okay. Do we need to talk about this?
Meemaw: I'm happy to just enjoy the awkwardness.
Mandy: [exhales] Great. Well... I'm gonna go.
Meemaw: And I'm gonna watch you.
[As Mandy turns and walks towards the stairs, she looks back and sees Meemaw watching her. Meemaw gives her a little wave. Mandy waves back and heads up the stairs.]

Mandy: Is this a bad time to tell you I only liked you for your cool car?
Georgie: You say that now, but wait till you see how many groceries we can get in the back of this thing.
Mandy: I can't believe you did this.
Georgie: It's a no-brainer. I want to keep our kid safe.
Mandy: Thank you. [kisses Georgie on the cheek]
Georgie: Hm. That was interesting.
Mandy: Oh, grow up.
Georgie: Grow up? I bought a car that seats 25.

Mary: It's so nice that you're joining us for dinner.
Georgie: Please don't make a big deal out of it.
Mary: I just said it was nice.
Georgie: You said so nice. [to Mandy] I'm sorry.
Mandy: [chuckles softly] It's fine.

Georgie: I'm real sorry about them.
George: Wh... I didn't say anything wrong.
Mary: Neither did I.
Georgie: You were being overly nice. It made everybody uncomfortable.

Mary: Are you gonna find out the sex?
Mandy: Yes.
Georgie: No.
Mandy: No?
Georgie: I want to be surprised.
Mandy: I don't like surprises.

George: Wayne, what's going on?
Coach Wilkins: My life is a lie.
Principal Petersen: [whispers] Gay?
George: I don't know.