Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, and, uh if your meemaw asks how I did tonight, I hope you'll give me a positive review.
Sheldon: Three stars.
Dr. John Sturgis: Out of three?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wonderful!

Sheldon: Who's the president of the United States?
Dr. John Sturgis: George Herbert Walker Bush.
Sheldon: I like Burgess Sturgis better.
Dr. John Sturgis: 'Cause it rhymes, sure.

[Mary sobbing]
George: Hey, what what's wrong?
Mary: Nothing. Keep going.
[Mary's crying intensifies]
George: Mary?
Mary: George, I just miss my little boy so much, and he's never gonna come back 'cause he doesn't need his mama.
George: Oh, baby, of course he'll come back.
Mary: No, you should've seen how happy he was.
George: All right, well, still got Georgie and Missy.
[Mary starts wailing]

Sheldon: As smart as I am, I tried to put out a fire with oxygen and paper.

Sheldon: Last question. What is the only fermion that may not have an antiparticle?
Dr. John Sturgis: The neutrino, of course.
Sheldon: I'm gonna rule out concussion.
Dr. John Sturgis: To be fair, it was an easy question.
Sheldon: True.

George: Uh-huh. Okay. I'll be right there.
Coach Wilkins: What's up?
George: Principal wants to talk to me.
Coach Wilkins: Ooh.
George: Grow up.

Principal Petersen: Gentlemen, good news.
George: I had a feeling.

Mary: Shelly, go to your room. The adults need to talk.
Sheldon: Given the events of the day, I would argue I am an adult and should be treated as one. [arriving in his bedroom] I probably could've said that differently.

Sheldon: That's not true.
Missy: You can't even take care of your own boo-boos.
Sheldon: For your information, every college is staffed with a medical professional. My boo-boos will be well-tended to.

Mary: You know, Shelly, it's okay if you're a little nervous. You can tell me.
Sheldon: I'm not nervous.
Mary: All right. When I was your age, a lot of times, I'd have to spend the weekend with my grandparents, and that always frightened me, 'cause they'd leave their teeth all over the place. I never told anybody, but I wish I had.
Sheldon: That does sound upsetting. Good thing I'm braver than you.

Dr. John Sturgis: You're my guest. After you.
Sheldon: This is like being around a campfire, only I'm not miserable.

Mary: Hey, what you doing?
George: Pretty much what it looks like.
Mary: Would you like some company?
George: Sure, I guess.
Mary: Of course, if you'd rather watch TV, I could leave you alone.
George: Oh, no, no. No, it's a rerun. But even if it weren't-
Mary: Ooh.

George: Hey. He okay?
Mary: Yeah, he's fine.
George: How you doing?
Mary: Much better.
George: You know, I just been sitting here thinking how I drove an hour both ways to bring the two of them back. Pretty damn decent of me.
Mary: Come here. [Mary and George start kissing]

Dr. John Sturgis: Sure!
Meemaw: What the heck? Do you really think you could handle living with a ten-year-old?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, he's only biologically ten. In every other way, he's as old as I am.

Dr. John Sturgis: If you like being tucked in, I'm prepared to do it. I practiced on a watermelon.