George: Ooh, look at the Ultra-Clean Two. It's got five washing cycles.
Mary: I don't know, George, these are really expensive.
George: You won the money. Spend it.
Mary: Maybe we should just get a more affordable one.
George: Everything we do is affordable. Uh... splurge for once.
Mary: It's so extravagant.
George: [laughs] You'd think we were talking about buying a party boat. It's a dishwasher, for crying out loud.
Mary: But the way we got the money, it just doesn't feel right.
George: So you're telling me you're never okay with bending the rules once in a while?
Mary: That's not how being a Christian works.
George: Good to know. [grabs the scratch card]
Mary: What are you doing?
George: Oh, just helping you be a good Christian.

Mary: He just took the ticket and stormed off. I don't know why he cares so much about a dishwasher.
Meemaw: Maybe it ain't about the dishwasher.
Mary: Well, what is it, then?
Meemaw: Mary, I love you, but sometimes it's kind of like you're waging a war on fun.
Mary: Why? Because I have values? Well, too bad because they're not going away.
Meemaw: Oh, and fun is down for the count.

Principal Petersen: 500 bucks? I guess drinks are on you.
George: Fine, but is that all you got from my story?
Principal Petersen: It's called lightening the mood, George.

Principal Petersen: But I do think you're overreacting.
George: Come on. I... Would it kill her to loosen up once in a while?
Principal Petersen: Maybe that's just not who she is.
George: What if it is, just not with me?
Principal Petersen: Well, what does that mean?
George: The other night I drove by the church and I saw Mary and that new youth pastor just hanging out on the curb, laughing and smoking cigarettes.
Principal Petersen: Yeah? And?
George: Well, that's not enough?
Principal Petersen: Well, is smoking even a sin? 'Cause I still light up after a roll in the hay.
George: The point is, she's capable of being fun, just... not with me.

Mary: It's not like I don't want to be fun, but I feel like I am the only one holding the family together.
Meemaw: Mary, can I point out that you weren't exactly like this when y'all got married?
Mary: So? I'm not allowed to grow?
Meemaw: Apart? Okay.

George: This is yours. And if you don't feel right spending it, then you should do whatever you want with it.
Mary: Thank you. You know, I've been thinking that maybe it isn't the end of the world if we spend it on something fun.
George: Really?
Mary: Yeah, something the family could enjoy.
George: Well... we haven't been on vacation in a long time.
Mary: Oh... Oh. [gasps] We could go to Houston, see the Ice Capades.
George: Let's keep thinking.