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312 - Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

Aired Thursday, January 16, 2020
Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

As Paige struggles with her parents' divorce, Sheldon learns the art of listening. Meanwhile, George is fed up of Georgie's attitude now that he's earning money and doesn't see the need to do his chores anymore.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "Body Glitter" refers to the product Paige steals from the store, and "a Mall Safety Kit" refers to the backpack Sheldon takes with him to the mall.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in his normal clothes as a cow approaches the family.
  • Sheldon making hot beverages for people in need was well established on The Big Bang Theory [Sheldon's Beverage Protocols].
  • Adult Sheldon references his future wife, Amy, going into labor. It has been established on Young Sheldon that Sheldon and Amy have children in the future. [122]


Quote from Paige

Paige: You're being weird, and not in the usual way. Guess that's my life now.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Paige: Everyone is acting weird. My mom is going on dates and my dad is acting like a child. My sister's crying all the time. I just wish that everything could go back to the way it was. I don't think it will.
Adult Sheldon: It turned out I was really good at listening. The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't.
Paige: I have to live in two separate houses. And my grandma says the meanest things about my dad. I know that everyone is upset that I'm not doing well in school. It's just hard to care. Everything that used to seem important to me just doesn't anymore. So I guess, really, I just feel alone.
Sheldon: That sounds hard.
Paige: Yeah, it is.

Quote from Meemaw

George Sr.: No more coffee?
Meemaw: Last cup.
George Sr.: Well, you mind making more?
Meemaw: I just sat down.
George Sr.: But you finished the pot.
Meemaw: George, if I wanted to make a cup of coffee, I'd have stayed at my house. Mmm.
George Sr.: One day I'm gonna put you in a home, and I'm gonna smile just like that.
Meemaw: That's fine. By then I won't know who you are anyway.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I didn't see any bow ties, just a shirt with a bad word on it. What did you put in your pocket?
Paige: Nothing.
Sheldon: Are you guys stealing? Because if you are, I am prepared to literally blow the whistle on you.

Quote from Sheldon

Paige: Why are you taking a backpack to the mall?
Sheldon: This is my mall safety kit. Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, a compass, a map of the mall, and a whistle, in case I get lost or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle.
Missy: You want to stuff him in there, right?
Paige: No. [nods]

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis was right. There was nothing I could do to fix this, or so I thought.
Sheldon: Can I offer you a hot beverage?
Paige: That would be nice.
Sheldon: Be right back.
Adult Sheldon: The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" would become my go-to method of dealing with someone in emotional distress. And it always worked. Except when my wife was in labor, where it was suggested I throw it in my own face.

View more quotes from this episode

Featured Music

  • Unskinny Bop

    Unskinny Bop As Georgie works out in the garage.

  • Judgement Day
    Burch Ray

    Judgement Day Playing as Mary drives Sheldon, Missy and Paige to the mall.

  • Long Way Up

    Long Way Up Playing in Georgie's room as his dad comes to yell at him for not doing his chores.

  • Illustrious Illustrated Man
    Illustrious Illustrated Men

    Illustrious Illustrated Man Playing when Mary, Sheldon, Missy and Paige arrive at the mall.

  • Aretha Franklin

    Aretha Franklin As Missy dances around the kitchen with body glitter on her face.

Episode Recap

After George goes into the kitchen, he asks if there’s any coffee left. Unfortunately, Meemaw drank the last cup. Mary comes in to break the news that Paige’s parents are getting a divorce. She mentions that Paige is taking the divorce really hard and is having trouble in school. When Mary explains that Linda thinks Sheldon would be a good influence on Paige, George can’t believe that someone wants their kid to be more like Sheldon. After Mary tells Sheldon that Paige will be spending the weekend with them, Sheldon admits he has complicated feelings about Paige. Missy’s feelings are less complicated.

When Mary takes Sheldon a gift - The Professor Proton Science Kit - he quickly wonders what’s going on. The last time she got him a gift for no reason, he had to get a booster shot. Mary explains she thought it would be a fun thing for him to share with Paige. Meanwhile, George goes to the garage, where Georgie is lifting weights, to ask why he hasn’t mowed the lawn. Georgie says he’s been busy, but George doesn’t think it looks like he’s busy now. Georgie points out he’s working out - it’s got the word “work” right there in the title. Georgie doesn’t see why he has to do chores now that he’s earning money of his own and no longer needs an allowance. George insists his son still needs to help out as a member of the family.

When the doorbell rings, Mary asks Sheldon and Missy to be sensitive about the situation with Paige’s parents. When Linda walks in with Paige, Sheldon notices her hair is different and asks if it’s because of her parents’ divorce. As Missy takes Paige to her bedroom, she remarks she’d rather have pink hair than together parents. As George pulls up outside the house, he is happy to hear the lawnmower in use. His happiness is short-lived as he sees Billy Sparks come round the corner with the mower.

Back inside, Linda tells Mary she’s happy her husband has gone, though she’s worried about how it’s affecting Paige. Linda says Mary and George have a beautiful family, and she thinks it’s good for Paige to see that right now right now. At that moment, George storms into the house looking to yell at Georgie. When George finds his son in his bedroom, he asks Georgie if he thinks it’s okay for Billy Sparks to do his work? When Georgie points out he paid Billy, George argues that he’s trying to teach him responsibility and he can’t just buy his way out of every problem. George tells his son to go mow the lawn and warns he isn’t going to ask again.

In the kids’ bedroom, as Paige braids Missy’s hair, Sheldon says she should be doing science with him. Paige says that’s boring and she wants to do something “dangerous”, like going to the mall. Missy says their mom doesn't like the mall and claims it’s because of the skimpy outfits on the mannequins. Missy and Sheldon think it’s probably because they’re poor. Paige says that since her parents’ divorce, adults just can’t say no to her. Later, in the kitchen, a seemingly upset Paige tells Mary that her mother was supposed to take her to the mall, but she was so busy cleaning her dad’s stuff out of the garage that she must have forgotten. Mary says of course she can take her.

As Mary drives the kids to the mall, Paige wonders why Sheldon is taking a backpack. He explains it’s his mall safety kit. At the mall, Paige says they’re going to the Hello Kitty store to get a backpack. As they walk off, Mary tells them to meet her at the fountain in half an hour. At a golf course, George tells Coach Wilkins that he couldn’t imagine talking to his dad like Georgie speaks to him. Coach Wilkins points out Georgie is going to school and holding down a job, if Georgie was his kid he would be proud of him. George insists he is proud of Georgie, but Coach Wilkins wonders if George ever tells him that.

Back at the mall, Sheldon notices they’re not in the Hello Kitty store, but Hot Topic instead. After Missy sends Sheldon off to look for the bow tie section in the back, Paige is excited to find body glitter. When Paige urges her to buy it, Missy admits she doesn’t have any money. Paige suggests stealing it, but Missy refuses, saying her mom would kill her. As Sheldon returns, he sees Paige putting the body glitter in her pocket. Sheldon threatens to blow the whistle on their stealing, literally. Missy decides they should get out of there. As they walk out, Paige drops the body glitter in Sheldon’s backpack.

When George arrives home, Georgie tells him dad he’s already mowed the lawn. George says he knows and thanks him for doing that. After George proposes they go and grab a burger, Georgie wonders why. George says it’d be a nice thing to do. George’s patience wears thin as Georgie debates which restaurant to go to for the best burger.

In the car, George says they haven’t really had a chance to talk lately. When Georgie asks why it’s so hot, George explains the A/C is broken. Georgie wonders why he doesn't just get it fixed, but George says he’s got better things to spend his money on. George tells Georgie that even though he doesn’t love his attitude right now, he’s proud he’s got this job and is doing so well at it. After George says he’s proud of him, Georgie simply says “all right”. When George questions if that’s all his son has to say, Georgie says if he wasn’t sweating his balls off, maybe he could think of something else. Georgie tells his dad if it’s about money, he could pay for the A/C to be fixed. When Georgie takes out his wallet and offers a loan, George says don’t you dare. Georgie starts to question whether his dad really is proud of his job. When George says they should forget lunch and just go home, Georgie says that’s smart, he can save some money for his truck. George has had enough and pulls over, telling Georgie to walk home.

Back home, Sheldon survived the perilous trip to the accessory store, but it turns out he was the accessory all along. As he unzips his backpack, he finds the body glitter Paige was looking at back at the store. Later, Sheldon confronts Missy and Paige about stealing the glitter. Paige argues Sheldon stole it, after all he walked out with it. When Sheldon questions why she is acting like this when she’s so smart, Paige says she doesn’t want to be smart, as it’s the reason they moved here and her family fell apart. Paige would rather be normal.

As Meemaw sees Georgie walking her by house, she notices his sweat-covered t-shirt and asks if he swam there. When Georgie tells her his dad made him walk home, Meemaw wonders what dumb thing he did. Georgie explains he offered to loan his dad money to fix the A/C. Meemaw points out a grown man doesn’t want to have to borrow money from his kid. Georgie can’t understand how his dad can be proud of his son making money, but not want his help. Meemaw says when he has kids he’ll understand. After Georgie declares he’s never having kids, Meemaw thinks that’s the smartest thing he’s ever said.

At home, Sheldon calls up Dr. Sturgis for advice. Sheldon asks if Dr. Sturgis ever wishes that he wasn’t smart. John says no, becuase then he’d be short, lonely and stupid, and that seems worse. When Sheldon mentions that Paige doesn’t want to be smart anymore, John suggests she may be going through an identity crisis. After Sheldon asks how he can make Paige understand being smart is the best, John says maybe the best thing Sheldon can do is to listen. He learnt in the psychiatric hospital that sometimes people just want to be heard.

When Georgie returns home, his dad is drinking a beer in the backyard. After Georgie simply says sorry, George tells him no problem and the two go their separate ways. Inside, Sheldon asks for a moment with Paige. As he sits down in front of her, Paige wonders what he wants. After Sheldon says he’s listening, Paige thinks he’s being weird and not in the usual way. Paige goes on to say everyone is acting weird now. She just wishes everything could go back to the way it was, but she doesn’t think it will. Paige knows everyone’s upset that she’s not doing well in school now, but it’s hard to care. Everything that used to seem important to her just doesn’t anymore. She just feels alone. Sheldon says that sounds hard. Adult Sheldon says Dr. Sturgis was right, there was nothing he could do to fix this, or was there? Sheldon offers Paige a hot beverage.

In the kitchen, George asks Sheldon what he’s doing. Sheldon explains Paige is feeling sad, so he’s making her a hot beverage. George tells Sheldon he’s a good kid and he’s proud of him. Adult Sheldon doesn’t know why his Dad singled out that one accomplishment, but he’s glad he did. When Missy comes out dancing, her face is covered in glitter.

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