Dr. John Sturgis: Now, give me your best price on one of these with a cup holder.

Ira Rosenbloom: [sobbing] I'm sorry. I thought I could handle this.
Meemaw: It's okay.
Ira Rosenbloom: You know, you get older, and you think your skin is thicker-
Meemaw: It's okay.
Ira Rosenbloom: -and your heart is tougher. But it's not, it's the other way around!

Mary: I'm sorry y'all find this funny, but this is the first time my mother's expressed real interest in a man since Dad died. Forgive me for wanting to know more.
Meemaw: You really want to know more? Imagine you're getting on in years, you and your husband about to retire, get a little timeshare in Sarasota, and suddenly he's gone, and you're all alone. You mourn, you cry, but eventually you move on. You start dating a little, and it's all good fun. But always in the back of your mind, there's that question "Will I be alone in the end?"
George: [sniffling, rubbing a tear from his eye] Why y'all looking at me for?

Ira Rosenbloom: So, uh what do you think of that idea?
Meemaw: What idea?
Ira Rosenbloom: Going to New York. Maybe we'll catch a couple of Broadway shows, uh, see some sights.
Meemaw: Oh, Ira, gee I don't know. Seems like a big step.
Ira Rosenbloom: Is it? I think at this time of our lives, we should travel, see the world.
Meemaw: I guess.
Ira Rosenbloom: I mean, we're not getting any younger.
Meemaw: What's that supposed to mean?
Ira Rosenbloom: I mean, I mean, I'm not getting any younger. You, on the other hand, you are a blossoming tulip.
Meemaw: Better.

Ira Rosenbloom: You can get lox, bagels, all the trimmings at 3:30 in the morning.
Meemaw: Why would I want that?
Ira Rosenbloom: Well, you wouldn't. I mean, it's too heavy. But you could if you wanted. So, what do you think?

Meemaw: I thought I could do it, uh you know, date both of you, but I-I can't, I can't, I just I'm not cut out for it.
Ira Rosenbloom: Okay, suggestion. And maybe you've already thought of this but what do you say you break up with him and only see me?

Ira Rosenbloom: Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture. Ira speaking.
Meemaw: Why are you sending me furniture?
Ira Rosenbloom: I've decided I can't go away quietly. I'm fighting for your love.
Meemaw: With a dinette set?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, this isn't just any dinette set. It's our biggest seller. And it's not pressed wood It's oak!
Meemaw: Ira, I don't like this.
Ira Rosenbloom: Would you prefer a leather sectional?

Dr. John Sturgis: Uh, what's going on?
Meemaw: Uh, can I call you back?
Ira Rosenbloom: I look forward to it.
Meemaw: You shouldn't.

Ira Rosenbloom: Haven't slept in days. It's like I'm a lovesick teenager, except I remember the Truman administration.

Meemaw: And how I handle Ira is my business!
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I hope you do it gently. He's very vulnerable these days.
Meemaw: You're friends now?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I wouldn't say friends, but I could see, over time, you know, we might-

Meemaw: I don't want you talking to him about anything having to do with anything about us.
Same with you. And I want you to stop spying on me with those binoculars like you're on some kind of African safari. And you cannot talk to Ira or any of my ex-boyfriends, for that matter.
Dr. John Sturgis: This list is getting long. Maybe we should write it down.