George Sr.: Why's he want to study acting?
Mary: The doctor encouraged him to try something different.
Missy: Maybe he'll learn to act normal.
Mary: How about you learn to act nice?
Missy: You people don't appreciate my sense of humor.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Principal Petersen: And the winner of the Medford High School Science Fair is SueAnn Ludlow!
Sheldon: You've got to be kidding me!
Mary: Shelly.
Sheldon: You people are crazy!
George Sr.: Hey. All right.
Sheldon: You're celebrating mediocrity. Mediocrity! Mediocrity!

Missy: I think I see his underpants.
Meemaw: I told you. Theatre folk just love to show off their business.