Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Which is better? One [holds out MIT cap] or two [Caltech cap]? One, two? Hat I'll never wear one, hat I'll never wear two.
Dr. John Sturgis: Are you okay?
Sheldon: No, I didn't sleep at all last night. For the life of me, I can't decide between Caltech and MIT. No matter how I analyze it, how I break it down, they're basically equal.
Dr. Linkletter: Great, then just pick the one you want.
Sheldon: What I want is to not have to make this decision.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, you could always stay here.
Sheldon: Maybe you're right. Maybe deciding not to decide is the best decision I can decide.
Dr. John Sturgis: Possibly.
Sheldon: After all, an object at rest stays at rest. That's just physics.
Dr. Linkletter: The kind of physics we understand.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Georgie: [enunciating] Your mother has been helping me, and it has not been easy. But I'm going to keep working on it for you. Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
Mandy: See? He's tryin'.
Georgie: Try-ing.
Audrey: It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee?
Georgie: I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" [exits]
Audrey: Whom's?
Mandy: Oh, let him have this one.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.

Meemaw: An "A"? That's nice, sweetie.
Missy: It's Medford from the year I was born.
Sheldon: Aren't we going a little overboard with this "A" thing?
George: Hey, some of us never got an "A."
Mary: Really? Not even one?
Meemaw: If only they graded lunch.
George: I'll have you know, I love my body. [Meemaw chuckles]