Meemaw: Don't be so hard on yourself, honey. You just had a baby.
Mandy: I'll make sure to tell them that. Apparently everyone loves a working mother.
Meemaw: Is that code for something?
Mandy: Yeah, your family sucks.
Meemaw: Ooh, sounds like I missed a good dinner.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Dr. John Sturgis: Actually, Sheldon, I do have some news. I reached out to a colleague who's doing a summer research program at the University of Heidelberg, and I think I can get you in.
Sheldon: Heidelberg, Germany?
Dr. Linkletter: A summer program 5,000 miles away. Only a fool would say no to that.
Sheldon: Well, that would certainly help my grad school applications.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, and they're doing exciting work on superstrings.
Sheldon: Fantastisch. That's German for "fantastic."
Dr. Linkletter: Ich helfe dir beim packen. That's German for "I'll help you pack."

Sheldon: Hold on, should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
Dr. John Sturgis: The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
Sheldon: You're my advisors, why didn't you advise me of this?
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice...
Sheldon: No thank you.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
Sheldon: I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
[present:]
Dr. Linkletter: Do you remember that?
Sheldon: I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Yes, is this the Columbia summer science honors program? Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper, perhaps you've heard of me. Well, now you have. Anyways, it's recently come to my attention that you could be an important step in my career advancement. So, good news, I'm available. Yes, I understand I've missed the deadline, but I'm sure you can make an exception. [emotional] But I'm Sheldon Cooper.