Mandy: My daughter hates me. What difference does it make if I'm there or not?
Georgie: You know that ain't true.
Mandy: Really? Because all she does is cry, and I'm tired all the time, and even your brother is better at soothing her than I am.
Georgie: You're just a little overwhelmed. It's normal.
Mandy: Why aren't you?
Georgie: Well, we can't both be freaked out at the same time. We got to take turns.
Mandy: When's your turn?
Georgie: Already had it. I was so scared when I got to the hospital, I... I got back in my car and drove away.
Mandy: While I was in labor?!
Georgie: Don't hit me. We're sharing freak-outs. And I still came back.
Mandy: [sighs] What kind of parents are we?
Georgie: The new kind, the well-meaning, dumb kind.
Mandy: We're gonna get better, right?
Georgie: We ain't got no choice.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Missy: Do you believe in God?
Georgie: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
Georgie: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
Georgie: That's what I do.
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
Georgie: See that girl dancing in them shorts? There's a God.

Sheldon: Hello, Niblingo. Little nibling.
Mandy: What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I was hoping I could try to calm your baby down.
Mandy: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying new things to build up a tolerance for setbacks and frustration.
Mandy: So you want to use my child for some kind of experiment?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mandy: Okay, here you go.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hang on. Are you familiar with the Fred Astaire song "Pick Yourself Up"?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. John Sturgis: From the beloved musical Swing Time?
Sheldon: Still no.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then prepare to be uplifted. [sings] ♪ Nothing's impossible, I have found ♪ ♪ For when my chin is on the ground ♪ ♪ I pick myself up ♪ ♪ Dust myself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again ♪
Sheldon: I'm not uplifted.
Dr. John Sturgis: [talks] Well, then buckle up for the second verse. [sings] ♪ Don't lose your confidence if you slip ♪ ♪ Be grateful for a pleasant trip ♪ ♪ And pick yourself up ♪ ♪ Dust yourself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again. ♪

Adult Sheldon: The next day, as I walked across campus, I could feel all eyes were on me, judging me for my failure. Look at them laughing at me. It was the closest I ever came to a walk of shame.