Mandy: [gasps] Oh, a nursing bra. "Includes removable pads to prevent leakage." Wow. Thanks. That's... really thoughtful.
Brenda Sparks: Mine dripped like a faucet.
Missy: Wait, I have a question.
Mary: Please ask it later.

Mary: So, George is mad at me, and Sheldon is mad at me, and... honestly, I'm mad at me, too.
Brenda Sparks: Will you please give yourself a break? All that you do for that family, I am surprised you didn't crack years ago.
Mary: How do you handle it all?
Brenda Sparks: I'm sitting in a chicken coop drinking a wine cooler at 11:00 a.m.... clearly, I don't.

Billy Sparks: Pastor Jeff, do chickens go to heaven?
Pastor Jeff: Well, the Bible doesn't say much about the souls of animals, but I like to believe that God loves all his creatures. Why?
Billy Sparks: My dad wants to eat Matilda.
Brenda Sparks: It's not as bad as it sounds. She stopped laying eggs, so it's off with her head and into the fryer.
Pastor Jeff: Well, I will pray for her little chicken soul.
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles] Just pray she's juicy.

Mr. Givens: How'd you know George?
Brenda Sparks: Next-door neighbor.
Mr. Givens: Oh. So, you knew him well?
Brenda Sparks: A little. How about you?
Mr. Givens: I taught Sheldon science.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I'm sorry.
Mr. Givens: Thank you.
Brenda Sparks: I'm single.
Mr. Givens: Same.

Adult Sheldon: Every culture has its own traditions to celebrate important life events: bar mitzvahs, quinceañeras, baby's first Comic-Con. My favorites are funeral and baby shower. They're the only two thrown in your honor you're not expected to attend. [whispers] Love it.

Mary: Hi, Jim.
Jim: Hey, Mary. Good to see you. You looking for some tires?
Mary: Actually, I'm looking for your wife.
Jim: Oh. You're not gonna yell at her again, are you?
Mary: No, no.
Jim: Okay, you sure about that? 'Cause I wouldn't mind seeing it.

George: Why do you want to go?
Georgie: Well, I'm gonna be at the birth, but I can't go to the party?
Missy: How do you know she wants you at the birth?
Georgie: Who's gonna catch the baby?