George Jr.: Oh, relax. By passing that test, I get to play football, and you get to go to the train store. Everybody wins.
Sheldon: But what about the truth?
George Jr.: What about it?
Sheldon: It's supposed to set us free.
George Jr.: Who told you that?
Sheldon: The Bible.
George Jr.: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
Sheldon: When it helps me win an argument.
George Jr.: The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother. And if you open your mouth, you're gonna make them sad.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life. But I have seen some folks change.

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.