Meemaw: Okay, first rule, you can sit on the same couch, but separate cushions. And no crossing the line.
Missy: Deal.
Meemaw: I'm not done. I will leave you alone, but I will cross through occasionally, unannounced and I better not see any scooting, scurrying or resetting of pillows.
Missy: No problem.
Meemaw: The movie can be PG-13, but the date has to stay G.
Missy: I promise.
Meemaw: All right, then.
Missy: Thank you, you're the best meemaw ever.
Meemaw: Yeah, I know.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, sometimes people assume, because of my age, that I'm out of touch, that I, uh, don't know how to use new technologies, that I, uh... Hold on, there's a third one.

Sheldon: No one will even listen to my ideas. I'm being discriminated against because I'm too young.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.

Mr. Lockhart: How soon do you think you could have a prototype?
Sheldon: Well, working around my class schedule and a sensible bedtime, I think within a year.
Mr. Lockhart: If we fund this, we'd expect you to work on it full-time. We don't want someone else beating us to the punch.
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose I could, uh, take a sabbatical from teaching, but my bedtime is also quite rigid.