[dream sequence:]
Sheldon as George: Something weird's going on.
Sheldon as Mary: Not now, George. I have to finish making the kids' lunches, get them to school, and then go looking for a new job.
Sheldon as George: But I'm turning into my father.
Sheldon as Mary: I don't have time for whatever crisis you're going through. And why are you still wearing that uniform? You don't even work there anymore.
Sheldon as George: Well, maybe nothing else was clean.
Sheldon as Mary: You're a grown man... you can wash your own clothes.
Sheldon as Meemaw: Would you two quit fighting? You ain't the only one with problems.
Sheldon as George: For God's sakes, why are you always here?
Sheldon as Mary: Don't be mean to her.
Sheldon as George: You're mean to me.
Sheldon as Meemaw: I'm just dropping off your mail, fatass. And it's nothing but bills.
Sheldon as Georgie: Just got back from the baby doctor. Mandy's having triplets. Dang it.
Sheldon as George: How we gonna handle all this?
Sheldon as Mary: I guess Sheldon's gonna have to drop out of school and get a job.
Sheldon as Meemaw: I hear the coal mine's hiring.
Sheldon as Georgie: Ain't that too messy for him?
Sheldon as Meemaw: The boy's got to grow up sometime.
Sheldon as George: Ain't that the truth.
Sheldon as Mary: He's got that nasty pimple, so he's well on his way.
[fantasy:]
A.V.: Whoa. Heavy stuff. But like a... caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, things need to get a little weird along the way. [Pus puts the blue caterpillar figure he was holding under a napkin and pulls out a blue butterfly figure] [laughs] How can people not like us? That was awesome. And Pus is available for children's parties. [Pus rubs his fingers together to signal cash]

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Adult Sheldon: [hushed] This is why the only bar I frequent is the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.

President Hagemeyer: Okay, so, what's the problem?
Sheldon: I wanted to talk with Dr. Linkletter about puberty.
Dr. Linkletter: And I wanted to avoid litigation.

Missy: Sheldon, there has to be stuff you're excited to do.
Sheldon: Of course. Getting my PhD, winning the Nobel Prize, getting to meet Professor Proton, working with Stephen Hawking.
Missy: Okay, so, when you start to get upset, focus on that stuff.
Sheldon: But... what if I grow up and none of those things ever happen?
Missy: All you can do is try and find out.
Sheldon: Those are the fundamentals of the scientific method.
Missy: No doy.