President Hagemeyer: All right, now, Sheldon... [chuckles] being a grown-up isn't all bad, right?
Dr. Linkletter: Eh.
President Hagemeyer: I mean, yeah, sure, your... you know, your body starts to fall apart. But there is a window at about, mm, 22 where everything's just... mwah.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, when I was 22, I was a strapping blonde oak of a man. I'd walk down the street, you could hear the knees buckle.
President Hagemeyer: If I could go back, I would wear nothing but a bikini, 24/7.
Dr. Linkletter: My mind was a steel trap. I could rattle off pi to 25 places. Today... not sure where I parked.
President Hagemeyer: I once went to France for a month with a man I met in the airport bar. [sighs] Missed my grandmother's funeral, but... ooh, la-la.
Dr. Linkletter: It all went by so fast.
President Hagemeyer: Too fast.
Sheldon: I'm new to puberty. Is this sexual tension?

Sheldon: I need telescope time to search for exoplanets, and Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis have denied my request.
President Hagemeyer: Why?
Sheldon: They said that kind of research would expose both me and the university to criticism.
President Hagemeyer: [stifled laugh] Well, that's outrageous.
Sheldon: So, you'll give me access?
President Hagemeyer: Gosh, no. I want to, but... I'm just the president. [chuckles] Use of the telescope has to be approved by a... science advisor.
Sheldon: Is that true?
President Hagemeyer: Does it sound true?
Sheldon: I suppose it does.
President Hagemeyer: Then I suppose it is.
Sheldon: Why did I even come to you?
President Hagemeyer: [gasps] Remember that next time.

Sheldon: President Hagemeyer, we have a problem.
President Hagemeyer: What now, Sheldon? The Yoo-hoos in the vending machine aren't cold enough?
Sheldon: Actually, they aren't, but we'll table that for later.

Dr. Linkletter: I cannot work with that creepy little know-it-all one more day.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, but are we talking about Sheldon or Sturgis?
Dr. Linkletter: Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: He's not interested in anyone else's input.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter?
Dr. John Sturgis: Linkletter.
President Hagemeyer: Ah, got it. Continue.

Adult Sheldon: [hushed] This is why the only bar I frequent is the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.

President Hagemeyer: Okay, so, what's the problem?
Sheldon: I wanted to talk with Dr. Linkletter about puberty.
Dr. Linkletter: And I wanted to avoid litigation.

Missy: Sheldon, there has to be stuff you're excited to do.
Sheldon: Of course. Getting my PhD, winning the Nobel Prize, getting to meet Professor Proton, working with Stephen Hawking.
Missy: Okay, so, when you start to get upset, focus on that stuff.
Sheldon: But... what if I grow up and none of those things ever happen?
Missy: All you can do is try and find out.
Sheldon: Those are the fundamentals of the scientific method.
Missy: No doy.