George: [scoffs] I don't see why I got to wear a tie.
Mary: Because we want to make a good impression.
George: She already met this bozo, aren't we past that?

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Billy Sparks: You like meatloaf?
Missy: Yeah, is that what we're having?
Billy Sparks: No, just making dinner conversation.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Mary: When do we get to sit down with her and talk this through?
Georgie: Ah, yeah, here's the thing about that: she ain't real eager to meet y'all.
Mary: Why not?
Meemaw: Did you want to meet George's parents when he knocked you up?
Mary: I was not "knocked up," I was with child. And he's right there. [Georgie waves to Meemaw]